But Things [A Jacob Black Sequel] Are Gonna Change [ ON HOLD ]

But Things [A Jacob Black Sequel] Are Gonna Change: Chapter 10

JACOB’S POINT OF VIEW:

            “Hey, man. How ya doin’?”

            I glanced up from my cozy spot on the couch to see Embry standing in the doorway, his expression changing from glee to pure pity.

            I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, unsuccessfully. “How do you think?”

            I never thought it would hurt this bad. I mean, I got that it would hurt—damn imprinting—but I never knew how it would hurt. I’d assumed it was going to be a physical pain like everything else—a little stab there, a burning there…but it wasn’t. It didn’t feel completely physical. It was indescribable. It hurt like I was being hit by a train, being set on fire, kicked in the face by eight people, stabbed in the heart, scratched to death, being torn apart limb by limb, and being forced to swallow jagged knives. But, it was all inside. I could feel all this pain in my heart, rollin’ around and making me cry out in pain.

            Embry took two long strides, then slumped beside me on the couch. “Hey—there’s a bonfire tonight, and then all the guys were gonna go to the carnival. It just showed up, and—”

            “No thanks.” I stared at the same spot in the floor, not glancing away. “I’m busy.”

            He let out a little laugh; it sounded like a cough. “Come on, Jake—you can’t just sit around all the time.” Embry paused. “I’m starting to worry about you, man.”

            I felt horrible. Drained. Vacant. “Well, stop.”

            “You’re not okay, Jacob.”

            I blinked twice, then looked over at him. “I’m fine. Don’t be worried.”

            “I know it hurts, man.” Embry’s voice went softer, quieter. “I don’t need you to phase for me to see. This is enough to tell me. But sitting here isn’t going to make you heal any faster.”

            “Don’t you get it?” I snapped at him. “I’m not going to heal. Without her, I’m dead.”

            Embry fell quiet. “I know. I guess I just don’t want you to be so miserable.”

            My face fell. “I’m sorry.”

            His hand clapped onto my shoulder. “Me too, Jake.”

            Then, I broke down into tears, the pain fully hitting me head-on. Embry patted my back as I curled my head down into my knees, tears streaming down my face.

            “I need her.” I managed to say. “She’s the only thing that matters to me.”

            Embry took a deep breath. “I know, man. I know.”

            And despite his company, I knew I was still completely alone, completely isolated.

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            Billy had come home a couple hours after Embry left; he’d seen me the night before, so he knew how things were. He didn’t mention Summer, which I was thankful for. He treated me like he always did, but a bit more lightly.

            “You want some soup?” His deep voice called to me.

            I curled my legs up more on the couch. “Not hungry.”