LYFE

When Crying is Easy

It's been a few days since I saw Jason that night talking about he might be a father. Dez came in my room and laid down next to me holding me. Dez is like my big brother we grew up together so he knows how I feel sometimes with even asking. He told me to get up and go take a shower so I can get some food and we can think of something to do. I told him sure ok and I grabbed my clothes and my hygiene stuff and took a shower, that shower felt so good the steam just soothing my skin and the water rolling down my back had me in a whole other place, lolol I felt like I was in one of them dove body wash commercials. I came out the shower after 20mins and I brushed my teeth and got my clothes on I was wearing a short jeans what hugged my body just right some Gucci slippers and a vneck shirt and my hair in one. Oh yes I let my hair grew out its soft and silky like a Latina baby, lolol. I came into the kitchen and I saw my two little cousins at the table with they iPads, when they saw me they ran to me lolol I hugged them so tight they were looking so cute and adorable. The oldest is Gabrielle and the baby name is Valdez Jr. I haven't seen them since Dez ex try to take them that was years ago, I asked how old they were gabby being the out spoken one she gave me the works and told me she's 8 and Vj was shy so he he lifted up his fingers and show me the four fingers and I ask him your 4 Vj he smiles and nods his head. After Dez cook breakfast he said he was going to drop the kids off, he can come back and we figured out something to do, I told him no I think I should get back can't run from this. He told the kids to get ready because he was going to carry them to school and I gave them both hugs and kisses and I told them I will come back so we can have a family day, nothing they like more lol. I gave Dez a hug and told him thanks he wrap his arm around my shoulder and kiss my forehead head telling me that that's what family is for and anytime I need him he's always there. I sighed and smiled and told him bye and went into my car and started to drive home. 10 minutes later I'm pulling up in the drive way and I noticed Jason car isn't home I was happy as some level because I won't be bombarded with the drama first thing. I went the house and carried my bag to the wash room so I can wash my clothes and when it was done I walked back up and went into the room and put up my clothes. It was heading toward 2pm so I decided to cook some lunch I made some wings and some potato wedges and a salad. After eating I cleaned up and sat down on the patio and started to read a book I never finished. After about a hour or so I heard the door and I knew it was time to deal with this bullshit. Jason sees the patio door open and walks to it and sees me sitting in the chair. He walks over looking at me like he was sad.

Jason- hey
Me- hey
Jason- so what you been up to, since you didn't reply to any of my texts or calls.
Me- I'm fine Jason and I needed alone time didn't want to make things worst.
Jason- okay but you could of said where you were going or told me you were safe.
Me- I know but I just felt like I needed some air without you breathing down me neck
Jason- well anyway it doesn't matter your home where you belong and that's with me.
Me-lets not get to comfortable or easy because I want to know what's the situation now.
Jason- sigh okay baby don't be mad but the baby is mines. Got the results yesterday.
Me- so do you think its fair to me that you will not be home a lot now? So now it's work baby and then me.
Jason- baby I won't ever do that to u I respect you to much for that, but I am the father so I have to do my job as a parent and make sure my kid has the best care and love.

Me- well I'm happy for you, I really am I just thought we were going to have kids together not me taking care of another woman's child.

Jason- baby you don't have to and its ok I'll still love you no matter what.

Sigh as a tear roll down my face Jason stands me up and hugs me tight me and rubs my back telling me he's not going anywhere and he has two special people in his life now. Me his one true love and his 2nd love his daughter. As time goes  Jason and his daughter Jayla grew so attach where the mother gave up and decided to give her parental rights over to Jason because she got a job in New York as a celebrity fashion stylist. And she won't have time to care for her daughter so now Jayla is now staying with us. It's rough because some days Jason feels he's the only one who can punish her and I'm getting tired of it. What's the sense of having the child in my life if I can't put my 5cents on raising her. I usually just go on the patio and breathe because if Jason wakes up the beast it won't be nice, he puts jayla in bed and ask to speak with me I ask him for what he looks at me like I'm stupid. He grabs my arm and demands me to listen to him I look at him calmly and told him to not touch me or grab me like that ever again, he grabs me and pushes me to the wall and tells me that I should start listening to him and I should obey him, I let him talk and acted like the last asshole. After he settle down I got a bottle of wine and knocked the fuck out of him and he's looking at me crazy.