Taking Chances

Chapter 37

*NIALLS POV*

“Harry? What the fuck are you doing here?” I growl when I see Harry walking out of Jade’s door.

“Being here for Jade you jackass.” He replies bluntly.

“How is she doing?” My tone changing from rude to concern. “Not good.” My heart stops beating and my head tremble.

Why the fuck am I acting like this? “What happened?” I gulp. He doesn’t respond right away thinking what he should say. “Spit it out, what happened?”

“She tried to kill herself.” I look at the ground.

My head is spinning and my mouth is dry. She tried to kill herself? Oh my god. This is my entire fault. What did I do? “No.” I breathe out.

“No. No. NO!” I scream my fist connecting with the wall, I don’t feel anything. I feel numb. “No.” I whisper, how could I do this to her? I sink down the ground and I cup my head in my hands.

“What did I do?”

“You destroyed her.” Harry says with no emotion.

He leaves the hallway, he leaves me alone. All I feel inside is alone and shattered. How was I able to do this? How was I able to the destroy her?

I tug my hair and I hit my head with my heads, hoping to wake me up hoping that this is just a dream, I never met Jade, she never met me, she never experienced this much pain. My heart is racing and my palms are sweating, it’s getting hard to breathe. My body rapidly moves back and forth and my fingers start to twitch.

All emotion and feelings are abolished and I feel nothing, I am nothing. I’m on shutdown mode and I just want to rid the pain and only one thing comes to mind. Alcohol. My buddy that would never leave me.

Alcohol may be my enemy, but the bible does say love thy enemy.

*** I slam my car in park and I get out the car. My breathing has slowed down back to normal but I’m still fidgeting. As every single minute passes Jade is on my mind. I want to repeatedly smash my head on a wall to forget about her to get rid of her image in my mind. But yet I don’t want to forget about her.

I climb onto a bar stool and I order a scotch.

“I.D.?” The annoying and ugly ass bartender asks.

“Fuck you.” I mutter laying my head on the counter. She scoffs but walks away to get my drink. ‘How, how could you? You’re a monster.’ ‘You’re a monster.’ ‘Monster.’ The words echo in my head as Jade’s broken and sad face washes across my head.

Stop it Niall. Stop thinking about her. You did this to her.

A glass full of liquor is placed in front of me and I grab roughly, sending a few splashes over the rim of the glass. I chug it down in two gulps. “Another one.” I slide my glass over to the bartender.

A buzzing interrupts my thoughts and I quickly check in it. it could be Jade. But it’s not going to be Jade, cause I’m a fucking jackass and I suck.

“What the fuck do you want?” I growl into the speaker.

“Woah, hello to you to mate.” Liam responds. “What the fuck do you want?”  I repeat.

“Where are you?”

“Getting drunk.” I mumble. “Fuck. Where are you?”

“At a bar.” I begin to slur my words as I sallow the last drop of my refilled glass. I nod towards the bartender and she quickly places three new filled glasses in front of me.