Drowning in a River of Denial (Jalex)

I Long For That Feeling To Not Feel At All

Okay, so, I feel like this story isn't going well at all. It doesn't have many reads, either. I suppose I'd just like to get more reads and votes and comments before updating again. Even if it was just two comments or votes, I'd be glad. Thank you to anyone who takes time to read my story or notes and stuff, I'm grateful. 

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Jack

I felt content in Alex's house considering most of my best memories were created here. I'd always felt safe here; it was usually no questions asked, nothing forced. Now I had Alex to confide in and a safe place to stay

His bedroom was cluttered and it was obvious that he couldn't shove anymore rubbish and clothes under his bed to hide the fact he was way too lazy to even put things away or throw them out. 

Admittedly, I was feeling shit still. Despite my mood lightening when I had entered Alex's house, I felt like crying and worse, cutting. There was that itching to have a salvaged piece of metal slicing my skin. I couldn't access a razor, though. I just hoped my urges would subside with the destraction of the sandy haired boy- who's gaze I was currently under. It was beggining to make me more and more uncomfortable. Was he staring at the newly acquired bruises? Was he judging me? No, no, he wouldn't judge me, would he? 

Taking the risk of meeting his eyes, I saw something different than what I expected; a slight smile tugged at the corners of his lips and as soon as he'd seen me notice, he looked down, breaking eye contact. His cheeks turned pink with what I'd assumed was embarrassment.

"You look tired," He pointed out, his voice soft and sympathetic. Without even having to be told, I was sure he knew that the cause of my sorrowful mood was my father- it was rare for it to be something else. 

Letting out a dry laugh, I nodded, "I am," Truthfully, I hadn't even realised how tired I was until Alex brought it up. I could feel my head pounding (not sure from tiredness or from earlier events) and my eyes urging to be closed. My body ached to rest and my mind craved to be enveloped in darkness.

"Go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up," He said softly, prompting me to sleep.

"Are you sure?" I mumbled. I was in no mood to object sleep.

"Positive. I'm sure you're exhausted," He forced a smile. But the look of hurt in his eyes was obvious and clear. 

He beckoned for me to lie on his bed and I obliged, lying on top of the bed, leaving the blanket in a ball on the bed. Rolling his eyes he ordered for me to get under the blankets and make myself comfortable. When I didn't, he layed the blankets over me with a gracefulness that was almost questionable for Alex. 

"Thanks," I chuckled breathily. 

It wasn't hard to fall asleep as I thought it'd be. Alex's bed felt slept in, used, enjoyed. His blankets were warm and his scent was calming and comforting. It was like I'd sunk into the mattress, the soft blankets hugging me into slumber.

I had gotten changed into my clothing for the day, fixing my hair and brushing my teeth in readyness for school. My Mum left for Michigan at around six in the morning and had left me alone in with my father in the house. An eery silence was present and made me even more on edge than I already was. I knew for sure my father hadn't left. I hadn't heard the shrill sound of his tyres racing down the street carelessly. 

I peaked out my door, noticing no movement or sound. I took the opportunity to slip out of my room and descend the stairs. But it wasn't as easy as that, I couldn't just walk out ecause the man I'd spent my morning practically hiding from stood there, a menacing look in his brown eyes.