Drowning in a River of Denial (Jalex)

Is This Really Happening?

Hey dudes.

IT'S BEEN FOREVER! I'M SO SORRY! I'm so close to falling asleep, as it is almost four in the morning and I've been at school all week. I also had trouble editing, since I accidentally deleted this chapter and had to stay up another two hours or something.

Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to bringmirahthehorizon for being absolutely lovely and making me feel super special and stuff.

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Alex

Time seemed to slow when Jack and I hung up and the unmistakable aching in my chest told me how much I needed to see him. His voice was trembling and I couldn't help but worry that it was my fault for him sounding that way. It probably was.

My hands shook as I sat silently, waiting for Jack to show up at the door with sad eyes and a small voice as his hands fidget nervously. I didn't want to see that Jack- I knew that Jack, and I didn't want to face him again because of how terribly heartbreaking it is.

I tipped my head back, resting it against the couch and huffing. What was I going to say to him? I knew I had to apologize; that was obvious. But how the fuck was I meant to do that?

I had about an hour- if not less, to come up with an apology better than, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout and stuff. Also, sorry for angrily confessing my feelings,"

"Tom!" I drew out the 'o', lazily sliding my back down the couch until my chin was resting on my chest.

"What?" He called out, the sound of metal cluttering coming at the same time and an "oh fuck," muttered afterwards.

"Come here," I spoke. I heard him groan loudly so that I could hear. He entered the room with a spoon in his hand and a frown on his face. He gave me an expectant look and I sighed dramatically.

"Jack's coming over," I said.

"And?" He spoke slowly, eyes widening. I loved how sympathetic and understanding he was; it was nice to know I always had Tom to go to. The feeling was overtaken by a building anxiety after a moment.

"I don't know what to say- oh God, I'm going to fuck up and-" My breathing sped up, a tight knot forming in my chest, accompanied by a twisting feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Calm down; you're going to be fine," He spoke softly, placing a comforting had on my shoulder and giving it a squeeze as he took the seat beside me. I sighed for what must have been the millionth time that day, closing my eyes for a moment and I nodded (though it proved to just be sore, having my chin digging into my chest), trying desperately to believe what he said.

Sorry Jack, I shouldn't have overreacted­. Nope. Sorry Jack, I feel terrible. Pfft. I didn't mean to-

It scared me that he'd be here and I'd have not much more than a sorry to say, but I supposed I'd just have to go with whatever tumbled from my mouth and hope he'd forgive me. Maybe a simple apology was all that was needed, and maybe little words were better than letting my mouth run with no filter again- look where that led me to.

When the sound of two soft knocks arose from the silence, I jumped with my eyes wide and my mind fuzzy.

My hands began to shake as I made my way slowly to the door. I took in a deep breath as I opened it, eyes portraying shock when I saw him there; his brown eyes showing hurt, his hands shoved in his hoodie pockets and... bruises, beaten skin. My mouth was ajar, and I quickly snapped it shut and swallowed as I took in his appearance.