Drowning in a River of Denial (Jalex)

The Truth Is A Terrible Thing

HELLO PLEASE READ THE A/N AT THE END OR I'LL CRY
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Jack

I dumped my unreasonably large bag down beside my chair, deciding to put it in my locker after homegroup because I was about five minutes late. It was nothing new, so when Rian stared at me in confusion, I frowned. It wasn’t that strange to be slightly late for school so why the fuck was he staring at me like I walked in wearing Nickelback merchandise?

After waiting a few slightly excruciating moments under his unfaltering gaze, I finally reacted.

“Stop looking at me,” I groaned, and buried my face into my hoodie sleeve. My puny attempt to release myself from his watch was futile as I felt his eyes continue to burn right through my skull.

“Dude,” I whined, drawing the word out.

“Sorry,” He murmured, but he ceased to stop. I peered up at him, meeting his eyes with a slight glare.

“Rian, I swear to God,” I spoke, but couldn’t think of a threat worthy of voicing and left it at that.

“Sorry,” He said again, and I frowned. “I’m trying to figure out if you’re really here or not, Jack,” His hand reached out right in front of my face, before he began to touch my face lightly. I pulled away from him, and let out an abashed laugh.

“Fuck off,” I pushed his hands away, and he chuckled in response, dropping the stupid emotionless act and letting a grin take over his features.

“No, but really, what’s up with you, dude?” He pouted stupidly (admittedly, it was quite cute) and waited for my reply.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been so, like, distant. You’re barely ever at school anymore. Neither is Alex,” He tacked on the last part, and I internally cringed as I remembered our uncouth goodbye. And oh God, the awkward farewell to Tom.

“Yeah, about that… A lot of shit has been going on and-“ At that exact moment, one of our homegroup teachers ungracefully dumped a thick folder on his desk, as well as a shitty brick of a laptop. As much as I would have loved to explain the reasons for my absence, I’d much rather listen to Mr. Blue drone on about the new clubs and sports uniforms. Rian gave me one last pointed look, before scribbling something down on the last page of his English book in small, neat letters.

You can explain later at Zack’s.

I took the pen and book from him, and wrote back my messy reply;

Okay.

-

At lunch, I took my usual seat at our usual table, receiving a relieved, yet confused hello from Matt and a small grin and hi from Tay. No one else was at the table, and I felt tightness in my chest. I was nervous, because as Rian had said, I’d been distant. I also couldn’t stop the lingering thought that suggested that Tay might’ve caught onto certain things.

“How was PE?” Matt asked with a slight smirk (thank God for Matt, because the silence was going to kill me), knowing I hated just about everything besides football and volleyball. I shrugged haphazardly, and felt myself relax at the easy conversation. I picked at the salad sandwich, pulling crust off and nibbling on it.

“Shit, obviously,” I replied, and laughed as I spoke again, “Mr. Nick tripped over a basketball and was really fucking mad the rest of the lesson,” Tay laughed loudly, and Matt chuckled and I suddenly felt like things were somewhat normal again. I tried my hardest to ignore the absence of Alex’s hand in mine.

“Matt and I were partners in Home Ec and he totally botched the pancakes,” Tay spoke up, nudging the boy beside her. He blushed in embarrassment, laughing it off.