Our whisper goes...| R.J. Lupin Love

29

-OH, CALAMITY by ALL TIME LOW-

(REMUS)

I stare at the lake, watching the water ripple. My mind wanders back to Emma's pale face, and her slow breathing. 

The overwhelming fear that she won't survive haunts me every minute of the day. She made me feel whole, I couldn't lose the girl I loved more than myself. 

My feet dragged me up to the castle, my hands clutched the overflowing books that held the work I had yet to complete. I swipe my overgrown hair from my eyes, clenching my jaw. "Hi Remus~" A blonde Ravenclaw purrs, walking up to me. I look up, to see the girl who started flirting with me back in Fourth Year. "I've got you alone now, since that skank of a Gryffindor is out of action.." She smirks, reaching over to grab my arm. I slap her arm away, glaring. "Don't you dare call my girlfriend that you bitch. Don't come near me again."  I growl, storming away. 

"Remus! REMUS!" Lily's voice calls, footsteps following after. I turn around, furiously wiping away the tears that sat on my face. "Remus, thank god. It's Emma, she's gonna.. She's gonna live, Remus. She's gonna be okay." Lily grins, tears welling up in her emerald eyes. I feel my mouth drop open, as a weight is lifted off of my shoulders. I laugh, out of confusion and joy. 

"Who.. who said?" I ask, the doubt rushing over me again. What if this was just a trick to make me feel better? I knew for sure that everyone was getting sick of me being so mopey. "Well- I... Uh.." Lily frowns, looking up in thought. "To be completely frank, I actually think it was Sirius who was trying to boost everyone's moods, and then it was confirmed by Madam Pomfrey.." 

I grin again, running my fingers through my hair. "That's... That's great! Really.. Thank you, Lily. Can I go see her?" I ask excitedly, bouncing with newfound happiness.

Lily's fair freckly face almost instantly fell, as she began fiddling with a loose thread on her sleeve. "Oh.." Is all she says, looking away. 

Dread seeped into my veins again, as I frown. My fists clench, my nails digging into my calloused skin. "What do you mean, 'oh'?" I question softly, looking up at her. "Madame Pomfrey has.... put her off limits for another two weeks, due to some.. mishaps." Lily explains slowly. Her emerald green eyes held a number of different emotions, swirling around like a vortex. 

"Mishaps? But she's okay, right?" 

"Madame Pomfrey... She said only her and Professor Dumbledore can see her. I overheard their conversation, Remus. Its terrible." 

"In what way, Lily? Tell me, please!"

Lily looks away once more, inhaling harshly. "She may not be able to talk or see afterwards. Either both or at least one. They don't know if it'll be temporary or permanent, but they don't want anyone seeing her because she.. She looks terrifying, Remus. Her skin.. its light blue, and covered in bruises. Her hair is falling out, and it still faintly flashes different colours. They're doing everything they can, but she is going to be okay."

It all hit me like a brick. What if she never gets to see her nephews or nieces? Her own children, me? Lily, Zahara, James, Sirius, her parents- even Peter! Or I may never get to hear her talk again. No singing, no laughing, nothing. That's scary for me, so I have no idea what Emma would feel like. 

~LILY POV~

I make my way back into the common room, tucking my red hair behind my ear. 

For some reason, I expected Emma to be sitting next to the fireplace with the others, reading a book and cracking a joke every once and a while. A smile finds it's way onto my face, along with a blush.

The truth is, I've always kind of had a small crush on Emma. It's not that big, but I still feel attracted to her.

Although, I'm almost completely sure I love James Potter.

I realise that now, and I'm not too sure if I want to. I'm scared to love someone. I've seen what it can do, after watching Marlene sobbing at night breakup after breakup. 

What if that happened to me? What if James and I dated, and we broke up? who'd be more hurt- him or me? I don't want to be hurt, nor do I want to hurt James. 

On the other hand, it'd be nice. To have someone to love, have someone who loves you. Not as a friend or as family, you know?

"Password?" A prissy voice snaps back into reality, making me jump slightly. "Oh yes, uhm, Butter Snaps." 

"Wrong."

"What?! It was- Oh, it's different everyday.. that's right.. Mish Mash?" 

"Correct, you may enter."

I roll my eyes, shuffling into the common room. 

It was plain.

No noise, no laughter, no one.

No Emma.

__________________

Sorry for the short and kind of sad chapter!

<3