I was watching out the window as we drove by the parking garage for the hospital this morning
It made me wonder ...
How many boyfriends are sitting in there front seats that are filled with so many memories,swallowing their tears and pounding their fist on the steering wheel, because their whole world is laying in a hospital bed with days left,and that thought keeps appearing in the passenger seat where all those memories are that he keeps at arms reach.
How many girlfriends are curled in a ball in the passenger seat because they don't trust themselves behind the wheel even when their not moving and because all it does is remind her of all the drives,little fights,date nights & words said while sitting squashed together in that freaking front seat, so to avoid more blows to her bullet filled heart she sits sobbing and shaking must like many others through out this 10 floor parking garage just wishing for their heroes back.
How many brothers big and little are leaning against their cars clenching their fist and praying with there tear anger mixed eyes closed trying to rid themselves of the picture in their paralyzed minds of the one they love and count on day after day looking like that...that close to death. Praying that it's all just a dream, that the one person who knew them probably better than themselves is not surrounded by their biggest fear and their to drugged to even know it.
How many absolutely heart wrenched dads and husbands are sitting there with a cold dead stare, not even knowing what to do because every single last ounce of emotion has drained out of him and he can't even blink the unknown tears away without seeing how it was all caused replay in his mind over and over again with no relief because he has yet to get a call on how it's all playing out and right now he only wishes to being reading gods mind.
How many shattered mothers and wives are breaking down so hard they've gotten sick three times and it's only getting worse by the second and to them each second is magnified by a thousand. An the only thing they can feel is their heart breaking into millions praying and pleading with God or the highest power they can fantom that if they trade every shard of broken heart they would save the hurting soul laying in a cold white room surrounded by constant beeping and while all this is whirling around in their head their stomach is sinking like the titanic deeper and deeper into the gut wrenching depths of fear, hurt, guilt ,and worry.
How many wide eyed,pajama covered little brothers and sisters are leaning against the trunk of the car trying to block out the blood cooling body numbing screams and the echoing cries heard from the older ones in the car,
how many of them are more confused than ever because;
Mommy fell to the ground and hit her head,now she won't get up and tuck me into bed.
Daddy can't move anything, I don't know what happened but momma's screaming for help how did all this happen?
Big Brother has a flat line on the blinking machine and I don't know what that means but everyone seems scarred so should I be scarred too?
Sissy's heart won't ba dum ba dum right and by the fear in her eyes as she stares into mine I don't know weather to cry or try and make her feel alright.
Just imagine how all these people feel.
Just this morning before the sun was even up an my bus drove past the parking garage, I was struck with the haunting thought of how all these people are dealing with every single second of it all and maybe how I even would?
- Tanna
YOU ARE READING
Project Feel
Non-Fiction"Written words speak when your voice fails" I started this project almost two years ago as a way for people all around the world to see that they are not voiceless or alone and that there isn't just one version of life. Not only that but also to sh...
