Project Feel

44. Double Sided-Tanna

If doors could talk.
Would your biggest fear change ?
Would your recklessness waver?
Would you be knocking them down just to keep the harsh words and hidden wounds a secret?
Because what happens when the saying "no one knows what goes on behind closed doors" ,falters.

Once it's possible for every secret to be revealed
The good,the bad ,the scary,and the happy.
Do you shiver like negative thirty has over taken your body;
Shake like category five earth quakes live behind your eyes;
Silently sob till your knees can't keep up no more;
, Or turn to stone as anger consumes your veins like concrete, only now it's boiling hot and a shade of alarming red.
Or do you smile so big your face starts to hurt because everything you've ever been beyond happier about is now on full display.

Softness lies in the iris of the eyes as the electricity coursing through your body is soon being overruled by fear, in reality softness is all as electric as electricity.
Some days tho every ounce of softness and pure electricity are drained from your being and only emotionless stares remain being targeted at a blank ass wall that only holds nightmares or restraints of what could make you feel something great, this is where happiness used to be on damn display.

Day dreaming and darkness have clouded their vision, ain't even remember how it happened all they know is now bloody knuckles are imprinted into the inside of their eyelids and holes in their bedroom walls hold a galaxy full of built up emotions not allowed to be released not by the holder but by the asshole authority;
Words being shot at a faster and harsher speed than a machine gun,burying heart scattering memories of a love that their watching unravel as it's dying not at their own will but by being suffocated by the closed minds of those same asshole authority's,
by the end both got enough bullet wounds in them to last far beyond the grave as a little permanent piece of heart ache;

Without a way to hold a scarred and barely beating heart captive all this would be destructed; nonexistent,

because of fear the monster hiding behind the closed doors has never had their dirty little secrets revealed; without the door the monster becomes captive in his own twisted lie.

Without a way to control a love struck mind and a soul so firey with want and need,all this would be a figment of a story line; Never a reality to some.

Yet because of Selfishness and a constant need for power,so many authorities that contain more say in people's lives than is right by humanity hide behind these closed doors even if it's not the same ones as those who fear their rules,standards, and expectations; without doors these innocent souls could live their form of a happily ever after.

A Whirlwind of thoughts hold you tight as the nonstop down pour of remembered pain, pain felt to be our own damn fault collects inside our brains with a broken ass drain.
Inflicted murder on self by the amount of countless times you've failed at mustering even a sliver of happiness; You try and try until you end up feeling as if your just gonna drown in this sea of wood and metal terrors; letting it swallow up the biggest part of your life.

After every knife felt word stabs your relentless but too damaged to continue heart, life inhabits silence and screaming all at the same time.
No one seems to understand that all of the cries that get drowned out behind a closed locked door don't even get a chance to have someone hear their last words before anyone can try and help save a life; try and help someone savor the best thing they've ever found in the hectic 19 years they've been alive.

Although not all closed doors contain scarring and physical wrong doings done by cowardly monsters with a heart that's been ripped out by only god knows who or chemical mishaps ignored and overlooked.
Many hold the unknown feelings being protected from the outside world of closed minded beings; those authorities that want everything one way,those who see everything different as wrong and shameful, The ones who over look every fallen pair of hearts.

Behind these doors lie broken hearts glowing bright as a fire in the night; A study session between close friends turned more;
A girl who's skin is a different shade as the boy who makes everything in her world finally seem okay hides their connection in fear of others punishment;
Two souls so in love it's hard to contain when their not alone because that's how strong it is,yet an ounce of affection outside of that door would cause a hurricane of pain and heartache all because they both have the female chromosome.
Every situation named and more shows how a closed door can hide something oh so beautiful but oh so heart breaking at the same moment in time.

Each one is slowly being ruined and or tested to the max of its strength by the curse of the ones in over all power.

The feelings as you know are sworn to be nothing by every single person outside of the confinement of four walls that only contain those two people.
The pressure felt on the lovers shoulders stress their strength to uphold their secret more and more everyday.

It's like everyone on the outside is flooding them with boulders
Each one a different shade of Wrong and a kick in the face like their saying "We know everything!".

What do you think?
Do doors truly control the things done in vain and power?
As well as fear of loss.
Or even fear of displaying love?
Do you believe that not hiding behind a wooden barrier makes all of their skin crawl or that not being forced to hide behind one makes the others hearts swell with freedom.
Maybe I'm living in a form of surrealism but so much would change if doors didn't exist.

- Tanna