connor
today's the day. i know me and troye aren't even dating officially yet, but it feels like it and boy am i going to miss having him around. it's not even as if he can just, drive to my place he has to get a what? 13 hour plane ride? it sucks and i hate it. why do my favourite people always have to be so far away?
last night was amazing, troye and i shared a bed and although i didn't get a lot of sleep, one hour to be precise, it was so calming knowing that troye was here, lying next to me.
but, unfortunately all good things come to an end, and for us, the end of our time together was in a few hours. once he gets on that plane and leaves, it's back to shitty skype and group chats, and i don't know if i can handle that now that i've actually been with him in real life.
we were packing up the last of his things and we were just about ready to go. tyler had already called the uber and it was due to arrive any second now.
i tried to smile, i really did, but it was hard. i don't know why this is having such a big effect on me. i mean, we can easily skype and text whenever, i just can't kiss him on the lips whenever i want, or hug him, or, or.. who am i kidding i can't do this.
i bit my lip to stop the tears as tyler came in yelling something about us having to leave. my heart sank as we all piled out of the front door and into the uber that was waiting outside.
i sat in between tyler and tro and dan and phil sat in the back. we told the driver our destination and we began to drive.
"hey. cheer up, baby it's okay." i felt his warm breath on my neck and i sighed. "okay yeah you're right i'm sorry. i'm just going to miss having you around, you know?" i swallowed again. god, i'm such a cry baby.
he grabbed my hand and squeezed it as i rested my head on his shoulder. in all honesty, even though me and troye aren't exactly dating, i'm happy with what we are right now. we're sort of in that in between stage and i love it, however i wouldn't mind being able to call him mine.
soon enough, we arrived at the airport and we got out of the car. troye let go of my hand, in case anyone saw, and we headed to the boot to get out his luggage. he only had one case and one carry on which made it easier for him which was good.
we had 4 hours before his flight, so we decided we'd go get a starbucks or something before he had to go through security.
a lot of people came up to us asking for pictures and even though i really wasn't in the mood i had to do it, i knew it would make them happy.
we all got to starbucks eventually and sat down at a table near the back where there was some plugs so that troye was able to charge his phone.
dan and tyler went to order everyone's drinks and phil, troye and i made small talk about whatever.
we finished our drinks and i had this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, because i knew what was next. goodbyes.
i swallowed hard as we all stood up, leaving the small cafe and heading to where we were leaving troye. he hugged everyone and said goodbye, and they decided that we should have some alone time.
"hey." he said wrapping his arms around me. "hey i'll see you again soon i promise." he whispered, hugging me tighter. i could tell by the crack in his voice that he was fighting back tears too, and i lost it.
"i'm sorry. i know it's pathetic seeing as we've only known each other a small amount of time, but it's just- you mean so much to me tro, and you make me really happy. being with you, it's, it's made me realise that there's hope in everything and i do have a shot at life." i breathed.
he pulled away from the hug and looked me dead in the eyes with his hands on my shoulders.
"connor joel franta, listen to me. i feel the exact same way, okay, but we're going to be okay. and, i've been thinking a lot recently and i definitely need you in my life. you're really amazing so please don't put yourself down. and yes con, you do have hope and lots of it. i just-" i cut him off by kissing him on the lips.
we pulled away and i laughed. we hugged again, this time it being the last. i bit my lip to try and stop the tears but honestly was it worth it now? i just let them fall instead.
"bye, baby. i'll see you soon i promise okay? i don't break my promises, especially not to my best friend. i lo- i'll see you soon. please don't cry, because then i'll cry and i don't think i can handle that." he laughed slightly, kissing my cheek.
"o-okay. text me as soon as you're on the plane and as soon as you land, alright? have a safe flight." i watched as he nodded his head and waved one last goodbye to all of us as i hugged into my friends and we watched him walk away.
it might not seem a big deal to everyone else, i mean it's not like we're never seeing each other again, but it's just that he means so so much to me and i hate being away from him.
oh well.
bye tro, i'll miss you.
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so pumped for school tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
not
bye
