All Mixed Up

Chapter 10

September 23, the worst day of my life.
I was sleeping when I heard a knock on the  front door.
I glanced at the clock and it read 3:34.
"Who's here this early?" I groaned while I pushed myself out of my bed and downstairs to see my mom rubbing her eyes, I gave her a confused look and she shrugged before looking through the peephole she gasped when she looked through.
"no, no, No, No, NO, NO!" She started to panic.
"Mom what's wrong?" I asked while she opened the door.
My heart sunk as soon as I saw who who it was.
Standing at my doorway at 3 in the morning was a man in a military outfit and worst of all it wasn't my dad.
"Um hello sir." My moms weak voice managed to get out.
"Hello ma'am we um-" he stopped to wipe tears away "we have some unpleasant news to inform you, Eric Tucker has di-" that's I wanted to hear before running away upstairs and throwing myself onto my bed I heard my mom start screaming
In disbelief and I cried even harder than I've ever had in my life soon after I left the door I heard the door close and heard my mom break down.
I walked downstairs to see my mom sitting against the wall bawling.
Tears still flowing down my eyes I sat next to her and placed my head on her shoulder.
We cried the whole night and didn't sleep at all.
Throughout the night we would say things we loved about my dad and then we would breakdown even more.
I was in no way to go to school at all but my gut was telling me too I also had perfect attendance.
Besides for anyone who reads the paper and goes to my school will know about my dad because they put anyone who died in the "in living memory" section of the paper.
Eventually 7 o'clock came around and I told my mom I'm going to school.
She told me to go to the counselor if I feel upset or call her if I need to go home.
I agreed to that and got ready.
I changed into skinny jeans and a maroon shirt, I then put on a navy green jacket with black combat boots.
I threw my hair in a ponytail and went for a natural look with the makeup making sure to include waterproof mascara, just in case.
I looked in the mirror and saw that today my resting face was a frown, you could clearly tell I've been crying, I was trembling when ever I talked, and I was shaking like crazy.
I was a mess.
I tried to smile while looking in the mirror and it helped a little by making me look a little less hopeless.
I'm not gonna take all my sadness out around the people around me instead I was gonna enjoy life and celebrate the time I had with my dad.
Who am I kidding I'm gonna be a train wreck.
I began walking downstairs and saw my mom on the couch silently crying.
"Love you mom." I said while giving her a hug.
She nodded while catching her breath "love you too."
I grabbed my bag and began walking to school.
I made it to the school and it seemed like everything was fine, no one was giving me sorrow looks or asking if I was fine and I was glad because I didn't want to be headline news today as always.
But however one person seemed to know.
I was at my locker getting my stuff feeling proud of myself that I haven't cried in an hour when I felt a tap on my shoulder.
It was Clyde.
He didn't say anything he just pulled me into a hug and my one hour record of not crying was gone. I tried my best, honestly but I couldn't control myself if it was the last of me.
People were staring at me confusedly when I pulled away.
I simply wiped my eyes and mouthed "thank you" to Clyde before walking off noticing Emmery and Rylan whispering as I walked by and Clyde walked over to them.
I went to the only room I could go to.
The counselor.
Knock knock
"Come in" the old lady said.
"Oh Claire honey I heard he news I'm so sorry." She said standing up slowly and making her way to me.
"You're so strong to already be back."
"Thank you." I said wiping the tears I could feel about to explode.
***
After about 40 minutes in there I decided finally to go to my first class which obviously I was late for.
When I walked in people gasped or looked at me with sorrow faces mouthing "im so sorry." I think I even saw Jordan look at me and give me a faint smile.
I noticed Emmery and Rylan in the back and Clyde in the front.
I walked to the middle area and found an empty seat next to Amber Stone (AKA teachers daughter aka "goody good")
"I'm sorry about your dad."
Great that means the teachers told people which means people are gonna be treating me all different as soon as I finally was being treated normally.
I gave a faint smile "thank you"
I tried everything I could to focus but today was not my day.
When class finally came to an end I made my way to my locker to get my lunch.
Today would be the day Emmery, Rylan, Clyde, and I finally sat together in public but today I wanted to sit in the library again.
The others probably weren't which means I'll be sitting alone which I guess today was okay.
When I got to the library I sat down by the books and just stared at my lunch I was in no mood to eat I skipped breakfast and now lunch.
Of course I was hungry but my body was telling me otherwise.
I thought I was gonna sit alone when I heard footsteps and turned around to see Clyde, Emmery, and Rylan.
"Hey Claire." Rylan said looking at me then my lunch then back at me.
"Hey guys." I managed to get out.
"How you holding up?" Emmery asked.
"Good." I lied
Rylan gave me a look of concern "you don't need to lie to us, how are you doing?"
"Honestly... Horrible." I said then I sorta broke down again.
"It just feels like apart of me is missing and no matter how hard I try I'll never be able to get it back." I cried
I saw a tear roll down Rylans cheek as she came closer as did everyone else and we all hugged in a group hug.
When lunch was over I decided to go to the counselor once more and tell her I wanted to go home.
I gave it an honest effort.
But there was no way I was gonna make it through the rest of the day.
I called my mom and she was there to pick me up soon afterwards.
I found out that she left work early also.
My mom and I made dinner together and talked about the funeral we were planning.
I texted Emmery, Rylan, and Clyde to ask them to come Friday to the funeral.
They all said they would and I went up to my room and laid down looking at the ceiling.
I heard footsteps in the hallway,
"Mom." I called out.
"Yes honey?" She asked weakly obviously hurt still.
"I love you."
I heard her cry for a second "I love you too."
September 23, the day where my mom and I officially broke.