Blackfoot

Chapter 24

Selene avoided Thorin as much as she could, ignoring any calls to her when the others said he wanted to talk.

She knew it was hurting him, but she could not risk it.  As it was, nightmares plagued her, so she barely slept.  Haunted by dragons and fire and an ever looming presence in her mind, making it difficult to focus on anything.

Then, there was her wolf.

It was constantly there now, pacing back and forth in her mind.

And it had her worried.

She managed to avoid Thorin until Bard approached the wall.  She stayed back, simply listening, growing more agitated the more she listened.

"Isn't Selene there?  Surely she would see reason in all this."

Selene flinched and knew she could stand there no longer.

"Enough."  She said loudly, cutting off Thorin who turned and glared back at her.

"I do not approve, but sadly there is little I can do to stop it."  She said it loud enough for Bard to hear because it was clear that Thorin had no intention of moving.

"Selene, this is madness!"  Bard shouted, the desperation clear in his voice.

Thorin was staring at her, daring to respond.

"Go before he does something worse Bard." She said bitterly.

She heard Bard curse but he walked away, Thorin's gaze still dark on her.

"He is gone, that's what you wanted right?"  Selene asked, her tone dark.

"You have been avoiding me."  He stated and she couldn't tell whether he was mad or desperate.

"Yes,"  She said.  "For the sake of my own sanity."

She turns and goes to walk away, the darkness already feeling heavier around her, closing her in.

"Selene, I need your support in this."  Thorin said after her.

She stopped, feeling the confusion beating at him, his words having more than one meaning.  He wanted help, for either his condition or in the coming battle, she wasn't sure, but it was tearing her apart.

"I will be there when you need me."  She said blankly, keeping everything down.

Thorin just stared after her as she kept walking.

Balin found her later, sitting alone on the wall.  "Selene?"

"What do I do Balin?"  She asked softly.  "I can...I can feel it taking it's toll on me and I wish I didn't, I wish I could control it, force it down, but it's becoming so hard to do.  The closer I am to him, the worse it is, yet I feel the closer I am, the more it helps him."  She shudders, hanging her head.

He sits next to her with a heavy sigh.  "I know you don't want to hear this lass, but I really think you should look after yourself in this."

Selene stares out towards Dale, she could make out the elves on the walls, their armour glistening in the light, and this had her worried.  "We cannot go to war Balin."

"Sadly, I don't think we will have a choice."  He follows her gaze.  "And I think it is already too late to turn away from this."

She knew this already knew this, she could practically taste the change coming in the air, but she hoped that Balin would've said something different.  "I wish I could Balin, I really do, but...but we-I am-"  She sighs and rubs her fingers through her hair, unable to put it into words.