In my 9 years of being stuck in school, i have realised there are many types of teachers.
1. The crab.
This is usually the stern teacher, that believes school is a work place, not a fairground. Therefore gives you tests every
Half term, and on last days, makes you learn.
2. The trying to be cool, but fails teacher
Aka my English teacher, she greets certain students with hugs and swears and just no, she has no sense of anything and didn't notice when I walked out.
3. The lecturer
They usually have no sense of what education is these days and likes to try to bore us with useless facts and endless ww1 stories.
4. The almost retiree
These are the 60 year old math teachers that are the wisest on the block but make the subtle mistakes. But hey they're wiser than the young teachers they are competing against.
5. The failed musician
They like to tell you about who they worked with and who they were in a band with, and then say who they tragically became a local school teacher
6. The irritating ones
they think they know everything, so when you correct them they get all smarmy and then chew on your nerves.
7. The psycho
These are the teachers that find any reason to blow things up, whether its magnesium or a child, they will do it and claim its scientific. There was a teacher a few years ago who did an experiment and set the ceiling on fire. He got fired.
8. The detention lotto machine.
Ah, my least favourite type, you say one thing out of line and they start to rotate until a detention ticket falls in front of you. You could have never done anything wrong before and they just chose not to like you that day.
9. The novice
The teachers who start at the begining of the year, not realising they got the job because the teacher before them quit. So they expect everything to be easy, haha, oh no...
10. The PE teachers
They think they're better than everyone because they have a degree in running. These people think they can make us run in circles and do what they say, and they set up those stupid pointless cross country challenges. Listen lady, if I wanted to run three laps, i would have done it by now, but i don't so don't push me know into it doing it.
Have you ever needed to pee so badly to the point that you find yourself reinacting the life style of a penguin? let's face it. we all have. So you do the naturall thing of asking a teacher and they answer with "I need the toilet, do I stop The lesson?" and your just there thinking of multiple sarcastic remarks but you reply with "no miss" and then pull the weirdest faces ever throughout the lesson, hoping you are in some way stopping any fluids leaking that could possibly embarrass and scar you for life.
Teachers ignore kids. if you're seen and not heard then you're instantly the favourite. and if you fail in life then they blame you for not listening to their insanely long and pointless speeches also known as class. like the other day in maths, I was falling asleep on some poor kid next to who luckily doesn't hate me, and I didn't realise the teacher was asking me a question, so me being my stupidly humiliating self yells "7" as the answer to only be greeted in laughter, because the answer was infact "6/10" I probably should have realised we were doing a fractions lesson...it's fair to say my maths teacher now prefers my younger brother, possibly my nan, even though they've never met and never will. I hope.
Nothing annoys me more then when a teacher sasses you, thinking they're 'popping' and 'hip' but the only thing that is 'popping' is their right hip out of place. to me a teacher can have a joke and a laugh with the students, but sass and sarcasm is just a step too far, sure a kid set themself up for the sass but you let another kid give it to them, sure it makes the teacher feel good and have something to talk about in the staff rooms, but can't you discuss the weather? when I was in primary school I thought that teachers stood around in the staff rooms talking about kids and naturally poking fun at us all, looking back I was a smart kid.
Does anyone's teacher use the whole "you weren't working well" excuse to try and play Cupid? they think that dumping me with some stupid boy is going to make me work with him, when I was happily discussing the world of pop punk and a hate for 1d with my friend? another thing they use is "I'm going to phone home" whenever they always say that I tell them to say I said hi, I usually get moaned at more for being sarcastic to my older generation. in my mind I'm just counting down the days for their retirement and or divorce.
Does anyone have that one teacher in the school that they really dislike so they wish with all their heart that a toilet would just drop on their head? nope? okay, just my vivid imagination then...
something we've all done one time or another, sometimes an accident that can be blamed on your tiredness and sometimes just out of stupidity we've all called a teacher mum, or depending on the other gender a Mrs or mr. it's embarrassing sure, but just style it out. "hey mum! told me you do that differently..." see? casual but handy. and if all else fails then move to sweden, buy a goat, invest in some nasty plaid, buy a hobo pole and camp out in the caves. remember to say goodbye to Twitter and wattpad before you go full cartoon caveman and smash the computer up. you know? I've always wanted to know what living the life of bam bam in Flintstones is like..
teachers don't care about people's feelings, if you're failing a subject and you've just done a test and you get the result back then teachers make sure they say your result out loud and let the class bully you. I suppose it works differently if you've been cocky and arrogant and expect to do well then get a really bad level read out, the worse thing is you can't style it out.
teachers complain that they're tired, because they stayed up late marking books and homework, if they stopped giving out homework everyone could get an extra 2 hours of sleep! it's no fun for a kid to go home and work out the size of a circle, and it's definitely not fun for a teacher to sit
there and see if they are right.
As jack black once taught me those that can't do, teach.
those that can't teach, teach pe.
