As you lay down - Destiel

Somebody else - 5

I wake up to the sound of something metallic falling to the floor in the kitchen, actually,  it sounds like way more than one. I stretch my back and rub the sleep out of my eyes. Some quick flashbacks of my dream run through my head but they disappear pretty quickly. I'm still not sure what is normal and not about exactly everything, I'll probably ask Sam about it today. The thought of Dean talking about my voice is still stuck in my head. I don't know why I can't get that out of my head, but I suppose it's a humanity thing. I've started to realise that humans are not only complex but weird. 

I get dressed and then move on into the kitchen to see what actually happened. Sam is standing in the middle of a bunch of black pans. 

"I don't know, I'm not really sure how this happened, just..." Sam says with a hopeless look on his face, looking down at the mess he just made.

"Here" I bend down to pick up some of the pans. "Let me help you"

We both start picking up the pans in silence, apart from the fact that I'm humming a part of "Sweet home Alabama" that I probably picked up from when Dean plays his music in the car but after a while, I realise this could be a good moment to ask Sam some of the questions I have. 

"Hey Sam, I have some questions about being human. You think you could have the answers?" I ask. 

"I might but don't expect all of them to be good" He replies continuing to pick up the pans from the black tiles. 

"Okay, first of all. Is it normal to forget your dreams?" 

"Yeah, it totally is. Even if you remember one, you still have around 3 dreams a night so it's nothing to worry about" 

"Okay. Secondly-" 

I don't get the chance to finish the sentence as Dean walks into the room. He looks very tired and smells a little. And not his normal "dean-scent" but more like puke. One might say that he looks like a mess. And I don't beg to differ. 

"Dude, what happened to you?" Sam exclaims and laughs. 

"A bunch of alcohol and cold weather is not a good combination. Trust me" Dean says while walking to the coffee machine, almost falling over with every step he takes. 

"Yeah I see that" Sam turns to see that he doesn't fall over. 

"But...what happened here?" Dean asks Sam in a very deep and rusty voice. 

"I'm not even sure. I was gonna take a pan out of the cupboard and everything sort of fell out."

"I can tell. Agh, my head hurts" Dean pinches the bridge of his nose.

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My brother is pretty hungover at the moment, now usually, I'd take this moment to yell very loudly or annoy him in some sort of way but for once he actually seems a little bit...happy? He probably got laid or something but with everything that has been going on lately I'm not in the mood to spoil that for him. 

"So what happened last night?" I ask while Cas and I are finishing putting the last pans back in the cupboard. 

"I actually met this great girl. Really sweet, a little bit badass and I got her number." Dean says proudly. 

I whistle and say "Good job dude, what was her name?" 

"Her name is Annabeth and honestly, never seen anything like her." Dean does a hand gesture of some sort but it just looks like he's trying to keep his balance. 

"So are you going to call her?" 

"Yeah, I think I will"

I smile because I'm glad for him. The circumstances must be shit for him right now, so for him to have found someone is just great. I do also notice that Cas has gotten a tad quieter than usual, which is weird as the last couple of days he has been making some sort of noise non-stop, apart from when he's sleeping. Where he turns to snoring instead. But right now he's just looking down onto the floor with something lost in his eyes. I don't think Dean notices as his head probably just is some sort of mess at this moment. I'm not sure if I should talk to Cas or just leave it. 

Cas stands up and says  "I'll be heading back to my room"

"Sure, you okay man?" I ask him as I actually am concerned for him. 

"Yeah I just need to get some rest" Cas says and shrugs his shoulders.

And as he walks up I can see him looking down on the floor all the way 

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I'm not quite sure why I reacted that way. It could have been because I was hungry but it felt like I got a pit in my stomach and I didn't dare to ask Sam what it was about. I close the door to my room and sit down on the bed. Dean getting a girlfriend is pretty weird to me for some reason. I didn't actually think he'd find somebody else after Lisa. And given the circumstances, it felt even more unlikely. I suppose I should be happy for him, like the way Sam was, but I can't bring myself to do so. This is something new, something I never even felt a touch about when I was an angel. After existing for so long and never feeling an emotion like that, I must admit is a little bit creepy. I would describe it as a mixture of sadness and sickness but it isn't either one of them alone. 

I pace around in my room a bit to see if I can walk it off but it doesn't seem to get an effect on me. I've found that sometimes that helps but right now it doesn't do anything but making me more exhausted so I sit down again. If I still was an angel I probably wouldn't have felt it. But then again, I knew that my time as an angel was coming to an end as soon as I broke my wings when I raised Dean from hell. Of course, it wasn't really too visible at the time but as time moved on and I lost my grace it only got worse. 

"Hey, Sam" I call out "Can you come in here for a minute?" 

I hear a chair being dragged backwards and then footsteps. Both of the Winchesters have pretty heavy footsteps so they're easily recognisable. But sometimes telling them apart from just the footsteps can be a little difficult as they walk in the same way. The main difference is that Sam takes a little longer footsteps than Dean does but that might just be because he's taller. 

A person enters the room, but it isn't Sam. 

"Hello, Cas!" Dean says. 

"Hi Dean, where's Sam?" I ask, trying to peek of out the door to see if Sam is there. I can't speak to Dean about this. 

"He had to check up on his foot, might have hurt it with all the pans. But what's up?" Dean sits down on the bed.

"I just got this weird feeling" I can't describe to him what I'm feeling right now as that would be too obvious and most likely be way too obvious but if I explain to him how I felt before, I might understand the after effects. "I thought about this one person, a lot. They always made things seem so easy for me and it was actually a little different than what I'd felt about them before. But then something happened and then..."

"And then what?" Dean looks at me straight into the eyes, I never noticed how green his eyes are until now. 

"I think that they have found somebody else. And I got this very weird feeling of emptiness, is this normal? Am I getting sick?" I say and realise that the thought of me being sick hasn't actually crossed my mind until this very moment. That's probably what this is. 

"Buddy, I think that you started liking a person, as in love-like and then you got heart broken. It'll pass with time, though. Don't worry." Dean pats my back and stands up to exit my room. 

"Anything else?" He asks. 

"No, I just...no" I look down a little confused about the information I just got. 

Dean exits the room and I'm left with one thought.

What just happened?