As you lay down - Destiel

Loving someone - 9

"Cas! Wake up!" I hear and quickly shoot up. Banging my head into something very hard. 

As I rub my eyes and don't get distubed by any tubes for ones I look at Dean who is now holding his hand against his forehead "Dude that hurt!" he exclaims. 

"Sorry, but you scared me!" I say

Dean just shakes his head "You can go home today, well unless I don't have to stay because I hurt my head instead" 

I laugh and say "Help me up"  Dean grabs hold of my arm and with the help of that I stand up. They seem to already have taken the tubes out while I was asleep. My legs are not used to walking as I have been laying down and still since I got here so therefore Dean has to help me all the reception. We check out and Sam is waiting for us in the Impala that's parked just outside. I wonder how long he's been here? 

"Hey, Cas!" He says and I nod at him with a smile while Dean helps me get into the backseat. 

"Get out of the car" For a second I think that he's speaking which would be weird as he just helped me in but his head is turned towards Sam. 

"But wh-" He says but is interrupted by Dean. 

Dean shakes his head sand says "Yeah, no, you're not driving" making Sam sigh but he still does as his brother says. Muttering something about how he has for the last couple of days but Dean seems to be ignoring that. He just sits down in the driver's seat and starts driving. 

As always Dean plays his own music, it's some ACDC this time. I'm not really sure if I understand Highway to Hell because as far as I know, there isn't a highway going there. Maybe Crowley has made some changes that I'm unaware of? Oh, it's one of those...Okay, I understand now. 

We arrive at the bunker and I realise how much I've missed it. The old smell that it's got to it. It's very similar to libraries and fall. Dean seems to have missed it as well. You can see the relief in his eyes as soon as he enters. I don't know when the Winchesters claimed this as their home but it's good to know that they've actually settled down somewhere instead of just driving around and staying at various motels. It's probably a lot safer, but if somebody was after them the motels would probably be safer to stay at as they would be moving constantly. But considering that angels and demons are busy, it's not really a problem at the moment. The problem would be if they ended up getting humans after them but that hasn't happened in a while so they should be fine. 

I walk into my room and see that there isn't a sign of my injury, it's probably Sam. It's usually Dean who does the cleaning here but apparently Sam is pretty good at is as well. I sit down on my bed, careful not to hit my head on the wall. I think about Dean and how he said that he has never loved someone. It really disturbs me, and I'm not sure why. I don't believe that it's all because it's him saying that he doesn't have any feelings towards me as I haven't ever expected anything else. But doesn't it hurt him? Loving someone is a good thing, it shows that you feel things. And if you didn't feel things you'd not be human, I've been there. 

------------------------------------

I'm glad that Dean and Cas are home. It has been pretty empty here without them. It's always so full of life here, somebody running around or just any noise of any kind. I found it a little annoying at first but now it's grown on me and it's almost comforting. So them being home, really makes me happy. 

I sit down in the library and Dean joins me after, beer in hand. He sits down in front of me. 

He practically moans "Oh god, I've missed this so much" 

I look up at him "What have you missed?" 

He shifts his hands so he has his elbows on the table "Dude, I haven't actually drunk any sort of alcohol in like 3 days. I almost died" Dean rests back in the chair again. 

I nod like I'm impressed "Wow, that must be some sort of new record" I laugh a little at my own joke and then continue "So any news between you and Annabeth?" 

Dean looks down at his hands  "Yeah actually" he coughs "I cut the contact off with her" 

"But what? Why did you break up?"

Dean shifts his position in the chair "Well, actually we didn't break up as we never were an official couple. But I spoke with Cas and I realise while I didn't love her she loved me and I cared about her enough to not hurt her feelings like that. So I spoke with her, she got a little mad but then it was done" 

I nod again "Wow, well maybe it's time for a change for you? Girls don't really seem to be your area anyways"

Dean suddenly chokes on the beer "WHAT?" he almost laughs. 

"Oh come on, you do know we share the same Netflix? I assume that watching Magic Mike isn't the straightest thing to do in this world?" Dean almost looks flustered as I say that. 

Dean seems to be very shocked about me not knowing about his bisexuality, even though I've known since he was like 14 "Come on man, that was for research" he says in an obvious attempt to cover it up. 

"Fine, let's say that. What about the male pornography I found on both your computer and under your bed?" I say raising both of my eyebrows.

Dean sits quiet for a while but then says "So, for how long have you known?" 

I sigh "Since you were about 14. It's not really a big deal, takes one to know one I guess." 

Dean stops in the moment, looking slightly confused "You too?" He asks. 

"Yup" 

He just keeps staring at me, he doesn't even blink. It's actually creeping me out a little "Even after all those things that dad said about it?" He asks me, I know exactly what he's talking about. I'm not saying that it doesn't hurt me and that I don't think about it but I've tried my best to repress it. 

"No matter how much you loved him, you can't say no to the fact that he was an asshole and will always be" 

Dean raises his beer and says "Cheers to that" and proceeds to take a sip.