As you lay down - Destiel

Menswear - 19

When I wake up, I have the driest throat. I swallow to get some sort of moisture but it doesn't help much. I go out into the kitchen and fill a glass of water. As I do so, I realise that Cas is gone. I look at the clock, it displays 8 AM. Where could he have gone? Sam enters the kitchen. 

Sam rubs his eyes and says in a low tone "Morning" 

As he sits down I reply with "We're out of coffee"

Sammy sighs "You know, you could always say morning back or just go out and get some coffee yourself"

I barely listen to him "Yeah" I say as I search the cupboards for some possible left-over coffee, to no luck. "Have you seen Cas by the way?" I ask. 

"No, wasn't he with you?" Sam squints his eyes. 

"Yeah, but when I woke up he was just gone" 

"Have you tried calling him?" 

I nod at the table "It would be no use, he left his phone here" Cas black phone is lying on the table, behind Sam. 

"But why would he leave? I mean he literally just got back. I don't understand. He must be pretty weak. What if he hurt himself?" 

"Okay Sam, I get that you're worried. But we are not his parents. I can look around if that would make you feel better. Okay?" 

"Sure"

But I can't seem to find him. After two hours of driving, I give up. Can he teleport again? If not I can't see how he could have gotten so far that I can't find him. I wasn't really worried before. I mean no matter how unbelievable Cas is a grown man. But he died, how can he be good enough to be out for so long? Given his state, he should be laying in his bed eating chicken soup or some shit. Fucking idiot. 

I park the car back in the bunker, still no sign of Cas. Where the fuck could he be? 

While I was gone, Sam had gone and got some pizza. So we sit down in the kitchen and eat it. I can't get more than one slice down. Probably because I'm nervous. It doesn't seem to be going too well for Sam either as about 85% of the pizza is still in the box. 

"How come Cas somehow always is in trouble of some kind?" Sam says and breaks the silence. 

"He's a friend of ours, we're lucky he's not dead" 

"Well, he was for a while" 

I rub my eyes and say "Oh god, our lives are so messed up"

When the clock is 6 PM he still hasn't returned. What if he's hurt? What if he's in need of our help? I hate not knowing. I gotta go out and look for him again. I yell to Sam that I'm leaving and go out to the car. I still can't use the fucking Impala because of the window. I swear I'll fix it as soon as I get the chance because this car sucks. Before I start driving I tilt my head backwards and take a deep breath. Come on Dean. Count. I turn on some music and follow the rhythm. I tap along on the steering wheel. Cas is okay. 

An hour later, I'm not as sure. I still can't find him. I've been driving to every place I can think of him going to. I actually feel like giving up for good, to just go home and wait for him to do the same when I see him on the road. Cas? 

I quickly pull over and roll my window down. 

"Where the hell have you been?" I ask him, I can't tell if my tone indicates that I'm angry or sad. 

"Can I come in?" 

I get confused and say "Sure" but since when does he need permission to enter my car? Oh no. As he walks by the window, you can tell that he definitely isn't walking straight. He sits down next to me and sighs.