As you lay down - Destiel

Settle Down - 13

Dean and I are walking home and I'm feeling really happy, that might be because of the alcohol or just Dean. I'm not sure. The night air is feeling soothing and I can't help but feel like everything is perfect. And I know that's a dangerous thought but fuck life is great. For the first time since I turned human, I feel like I'm actually living. I feel the blood running through my body and my lungs filling with air. I would never trade being an angel for this. 

When we get home Sam is asleep at the table over a book. I wake him up quickly to let him know that we're home and that he should go and sleep in his actual bed. When he walks into his room he's half awake, half asleep. Before I go into my room Dean stops me. He kisses me and whispers "Goodnight" in my ear. I reply with a smile and looking directly into his eyes. He's so fucking beautiful and I'm so fucking drunk.

--------------------------------------------------

My head hurts like hell. Fuck. How much did I even drink? FUCK. SHIT. FUCK. OH  NO. I DID NOT- SHIT. This hurts more than my throbbing headache. Fuck. I actually? Oh, god. I'm kinda regretting killing death at this moment. What was I thinking? I can't just fucking do that. I've gone mad. What the hell, Dean? You don't just kiss a guy like that. Come on get it together. You can do that. 

I walk out of my room as I fell asleep in my normal clothes. Sam is up, for once not reading. I believe he's...cleaning? Good for him, also, some places here could use some cleaning up. Sammy seems happy, I like that. He just manages  to lighten the mood so easily with that. That's something I don't know how to do. Lighten anybody's mood. 

Should I speak to Cas? I guess. Suppose I should speak to him before Sam finds out about anything. I walk over to his room and knock on the door. Nobody opens. Should I wake him up? It is 11 AM after all. Yeah. I open the door and walk inside. The room is pretty dark and it still reminds me of Kevin. We need to get him a new room. Cas has somehow managed to change so he's in sweatpants and a t-shirt. Looking very calm. Well, apart from the hickeys on his neck. Damn it, Dean. You just had to go and to that. I can't help but feel a little proud, though. 

I shake him lightly and say "Cas, wake up"

Cas groans and turns over. I shake him a little more and he opens his eyes. 

"Fuck, my head!" He groans and I smile a little. He's looking so disturbed it's almost amusing. 

"Cas, wake up!" I say again, a little bit louder this time, just to annoy him. 

He shuts his eyes hard and says "I am awake, calm down!" He opens his eyes and looks into mine. I smile and whisper  "Morning, Cas" He smiles back at me. I realise that when I said that it was perfect yesterday, it wasn't the moment. It was this. The space between us that's so full of energy. Not that I'll ever tell about it. I wonder if he feels the same thing. Probably not. 

And all of a sudden it's like Cas realises something. His eyes get clear and turn wide open. 

"Dean I'm so sorry I didn't mean what I did last night, you have every right to hate me, and I just-" I cut him off by kissing him. 

"Shut up, now would you?" I ask. 

Cas smiles at me and says "Good morning, Dean" 

I would really like to speak to him about last night but Sam's awake and he'll probably get suspicious if I stay in here too long. 

"Now, you need to get dressed and I have to make some breakfast, do you want anything?" I ask him. 

"You do know that we have about nothing?" He says. Oh, yeah. 

"Well, then we're going grocery shopping today. So get up" 

I leave Cas room, Sam doesn't seem to have noticed anything. I'll have to tell him at some point I mean he is my brother and Cas friend. We also live with him so the chances of him not finding out about it are pretty small. 

A couple of minutes later Cas leaves his room, wearing his usual clothes and the trenchcoat. I still don't know when he washes that thing. Or any of his clothes, really. I shout at Sam that we're leaving. I should probably spend a little more time with him. 

As we sit down in the Impala I think about how much easier things would be if I had a motorcycle. Sometimes the Impala can take a little long to start and back out, but with a motorcycle, it would go so much quicker. 

"So Cas," I cough awkwardly "about last night. You seem to be in for it, but are you sure you want...this?" 

Cas turns to look at me "Yes, Dean. I think I do" 

I smile and ask "Now what are we going to about that neck of yours?" 

Cas is looking confused. "What do you mean?" He asks. 

I turn to look at him for just a second before returning my eyes to the road. "You haven't seen yet?" 

Now he almost looks worried. "No?" 

"Okay, my phone has a front camera. Use that."

As Cas doesn't have his own phone with him he takes my phone and goes into the camera. As he sees his throat his eyes widen. He turns his phone to look at his phone from different angles. I can hear him whisper a single "Fuck" 

"Dean, what the fuck?" Cas asks.

"What? You seemed to like it yesterday..." I smirk a little. 

"I'm not saying that I don't like it now, Dean. They actually look kind of nice. But still!" He exclaims. 

We go to the grocery store and get what we need. Some bread, butter, the basics. I also buy a Coca-Cola, something I haven't drunk in a while. Cas is constantly touching his neck. He's never had hickeys before, this is amusing. I'm still not sure what we're going to tell Sam. If we even are going to.