30 Days In Rehab

Chapter Three

Day Three:

I feel a little better than I did yesterday. Quite frankly, I don't want to do this shit anymore. It's 6 in the morning and I'm already up. Normally, I'd sleep until like 3 or 4. Depends on how much dope I had. I know I have only been here for three days, but I feel the urge to change. Even the name doesn't do anything for me anymore. It used to draw me in. I used to hear dope and go running. Now, I just want to lay here, away from it. Sadly, I can feel myself dropping deeper and deeper into a depression.

I never believed anyone when they told me I was wasting my life. I thought I was living it, but here I am. 19 years old, single, in rehab and depressed.

I miss my girlfriend. Khloe has always been there for me and I pushed her away. She was my escape, until I replaced her with dope. She was my first true love. My first kiss. We lost our virginity to each other. I miss her. Part of me wonders, how the fuck did I manage to lose her? She meant the world to me. What made me think that I needed dope more than her? I want to call her. I need to call her.

I called her.

I just asked her to come over. There was no way in hell I was going to tell her things over the phone. She meant more to me than that. She MEANS more to me than that. She agreed to meet me here at 9. I had three hours to get ready. Yes, I need three hours. I need to look the best I can for her to see me. She needs to see that I can do and be better. That I can be enough for her.

9 o'clock finally was here. I was so excited. One of the nurses came in and told me I had a visitor. My eyes lit up and I smiled so big. She's here.

I walked over to the room with the large tables and sat down. I had to wait for her to go through the screening process. Eventually, the door opened and she walked in. I forgot how pretty she was. Her long blonde hair, tied tightly in a pony tail. Sparkling blue eyes, with the cutest beauty mark underneath the left one. She had the best body. It felt so good pressed against me.

I said hello and she started to cry. What the hell? I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her. I knew why she was crying so, I started to cry too. I just kept saying random things. Words were spewing from my mouth and I couldn't stop it.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know why the fuck I did those things to you. I should have chose you. You were the only one who understood me. You get me. You always do. I hate being without you and I want to get better for you. I love you. Please stand by me. I'm going to finish this program for you and my mother. Please, don't leave me again,Klo. I love you. I'm in love with you.

She stopped my ramble by pressing her lips against mine. She started to pull away but, I didn't let her. I pulled her right back to me. I lifted her up and wrapped her legs around me. I ran my fingers through her hair. I didn't want this moment to end. I wanted to take her right there on the table.

So, I did.

Fuck anyone who was even thinking they could stop this. I laid her on the table and removed my shirt. Lifting her up gently, I arched her back and took her shirt off. Caressing my fingers on her neck, I move my lips from her mouth to her chest, biting at her bra. Listening to her breathing heavy made me want this even more. I kissed my way down to her pants and unbuttoned her skin tight jeans with my mouth. Slowly, I moved up and removed her pants. Then I removed my own. Dear God, I have been wanting this for so long. She sits up to unhook her bra. I move my body on top of her, slipping off her panties. I went deep inside her, pushing myself in deeper each time. We kept a repetition. I pushed, she moaned. Over and over again until finally, we both were satisfied.

Quickly, we got dressed and s at at the table like nothing ever happened. Then, we started to hysterically laugh. I mean, we laugh so hard. Boy, did that feel good. It felt amazing to laugh with her. It was a laugh I thought I would never hear again.

Suddenly, I stopped. I just looked at her laughing and I smiled. Without even thinking, I asked her to marry me. I meant it. I told her I didn't have a ring, but when I get out of here, I will get her one. She told me that I have to promise her a few things before she said yes. I wasn't allowed to hang out with Pat anymore. Which is fine. The dude needs just as much fucking help as I do, if not more. I love Pat, he has been like a brother to me before any of this shit started. However, he is the one who got me into this shit. So, sorry Pat.

Khloe expressed that if we get back together it wouldn't be just the two of us. I was scared. I thought she was trying to tell me something. She pulled a picture out of her pocket and handed it to me.

It's an ultrasound of a baby with the name Khloe Monroe on the top. I asked her the dumbest question.

Is it mine?

She started to laugh. Dude, I didn't know. I feel bad, but I was so doped out at the end of our relationship, I probably thought I was pregnant. Pushing her body against mine, she held me and said yes. I was having a baby? Me? I was going to be a father? Are you serious? Are you sure? Oh my God. I'm going to be a father.

Fuck.

I'm going to be a father.

I told her I was happy. I vowed to her, from this day on, I live for her and that baby. I asked her if my mother knew. My mother knew the whole time. No one ever told me? I asked her.

We wanted to tell you, but we could never get you sober.

I never thought me and sober would be such good friends, but I'm going to be a father. It's time to wise the fuck up. Khloe told me she loved me and that she would marry me.

When she left, I felt my heart break. I missed her so much, but I had to talk to Emily. I told her that I want to become a more active member of the group. I want to become more vocal and make a difference. My life has changed because, of this group. I'm about to get my life back.

And there is not a damn thing anyone can do to take that from me.