From Me to You ☆ Jung Kook

Chapter Twenty Two

"Eun Kyung, are you okay?"

I sit there frozen, my pulse racing. Eomma looks at me worriedly as my tears continue to fall.

"What happ- what is that?" She asks, her eyes falling on the photo in my hands.

I swallow nervously. "N-Nothing."

"Where did you find that?" Eomma asks and her voice becomes higher.

"When did you plan on telling me?" I ask shakily.

She stiffens. "Eun Kyung, believe me, I was going to tell you soon. But you're still young and I wanted to wait-"

"I'm sixteen! How much older did you want me to be? How long did you plan on hiding this from me?"

"Please just listen to me." Eomma begs and grabs me by the shoulders.

I avoid her pleading eyes.

"I was afraid," She starts weakly. "That once you found out I wasn't your real mom, you'd forget about me. I was afraid about how you'd react. Because this whole time you've been left in the dark."

She starts to cry. "I'm sorry. You've been through so much and there's nothing I can do to ease the pain."

"W-What happened to them?" I ask.

She looks away. "Eun Seol... she passed away."

My eyes brim with tears. "How? Why?"

Eomma chokes back a sob. "She died giving birth to you."

I crumple down. "What?"

"I'm sorry." Eomma cries.

I clutch my stomach, suddenly feeling sick. The reason my mother died... is because of me.

"You would have loved her. She was so beautiful. She was the kindest person I knew. You act just like her. If she saw you she'd be so proud."

"You knew her?" I manage to ask.

Eomma nods. "She was my little sister."

"What about my dad?"

She shrugs. "I don't know. After Eun Seol died, he lost it. He was consumed by grief. Drinking day in and out. That's why I took custody of you."

I wipe away my tears. "I-I need some fresh air. I want to be alone right now."

"Eun Kyung," She grabs my hand.

I shake my head. "Please."

She hesitantly let's go. I walk out, passing by my grandparents and ignoring their calls. I don't even bother putting on shoes as I slip out the door. My tears once again blind me as I aimlessly walk.

I watch as the sky darkens. A beautiful blue turns into a murky grey. Thunder rolls and the first drops fall. The oncoming storm represents my exact feelings.

People around me begin to scurry, looking for shelter. But I continue to walk. If I don't do something, I'll be swallowed by the emotions inside of me. I don't want to deal with it. I don't want to think about it.

I love eomma and halmoni and harabuji, but I can't help but wonder what life with my real parents would be like. To wish for that, am I being selfish? Finally putting a face to those two people, it finally let me realized how much I longed to have them.

How can you miss someone you don't know? I now understand that. Because I feel their absence, I miss them. Like a puzzle piece is missing.

Do I even deserve to be alive? I took away a life in order to be born. Is it right for me to have lived such a carefree life? I should be ashamed of myself.