Okay

Escaping.

      He rises from his chair stepping closer, i can smell the scent of rain and nature on his scrubs. He takes off the strap on my right wrist, and waits to see how i react. I'm not that stupid. the n he moves over to the other side of the small bed and frees my other wrist, both of which now how lovely deep red marks etched into them from all of the thrashing around I've been doing. I absently rub them to get some of the circulation back.

   "Come on, we have to hurry." he says rushing me to get up, when i stand i almost fall over. I hear him mumble about how he doesn't have time for this and helps right me. Once the blackness fades from standing too quickly he lets go and bounds to the door. Opening it carefully he sticks his head out the crack in the door. He's checking for nurses, but apparently doesn't see any because he bounds back to me grabbing my sore wrist and pulling me into the hall. I still hate it when he touches me. I hate that i have to do this. 

He leads me down the hall, everything is very quiet. We come to the front of the building. Through the window all is dark, that's why it's so quiet i think to myself. Everyone must be asleep. At least they can sleep, these days it seemed like the only time i can sleep is if i'm sedated. He leads me out of the building and into the dark night. We come across a shiny black car, and he fishes something out of his pocket. I hear it jingle and realize that it's the keys. What you don't want to steal a car too? I think to myself. He'll murder an innocent person any day but car theft is below him i guess. There's more irony for you. 

"Get in." he hisses under his breath. I move to the other side of the car and get in the passenger seat. I'm getting out of here, just not the way i thought i would. It's better than nothing, i'll be able to get away quicker if i'm not constantly being sedated. As i sit in this car so close to the man that I've been trying to escape for years, i feel the anxiety rising up in my chest. I try to steady my breathing, i can't have a panic attack here. Breathe. 

  He drives in silence which is fine with me, i don't want to talk to him. I watch the stars, counting them, until i have to start over. I find this to be calming, to keep my mind busy like this. It keeps me from thinking too much. I fight the sleepiness that follows, i don't trust him. I can't sleep here. I have the choice of falling asleep and risking him doing something to me while asleep or thinking about things that cause anxiety spikes. I choose the spikes, at least i have more of a chance to fight him off if a panic attack occurs rather than if i'm asleep. I'll sleep when i'm dead, which hopefully won't be too much longer.

  We soon stop, at an old building in the city. It looks like an old factory. Its very worn down, with the windows all shattered and holes in the roof. He turns the car off and all goes quiet. This would be my chance to get away from him. He reaches over to me and i freeze, but then he opens the glove box and pulls out a gun. Great. He does not get the satisfaction of killing me, that's my job. I'll be free of all of this eventually. 

I slowly move my hand to the door handle, and grip it tightly. He doesn't notice, as we sit in the dark while he checks if the gun is loaded. I see him nod absently, so it is loaded. The sadistic odds are slowly stacking against me again. I can feel my window of opportunity closing move and move as the seconds crawl by. My knuckles turn white from the force of gripping the handle, this is my chance. So i take it. I open the door and within seconds in out in the cool midnight air. I let myself believe for a second that I've made it just in time, but then i hear the loud sound of the gun in his hand firing. It seems to take forever before the pain sets in. the bullet had hit its mark. How he managed to hit me in the dark i'm not sure, but i only stumbled for i minute. I rose right back up after the force of the bullet shooting through my shoulder had thrown me to the ground.