Dear Who Ever,
So when He went to the mall, he got drunk. I already explained how I felt on him getting drunk... but to make it worse -> He went with A**** (his ex girlfriend), Z****, and K****. I was told that he likes K more than a friend and she likes him as well. So he went and got drunk with his best friend, his ex girlfriend, and a friend he has a crush on. This is pushing me to the edge. Apperantly, that is why he is acting so strange today. He is feeling conflicted... That is straight from Shy... Is he conflicted about dating me? Dating K instead? Hanging out with K? Drinking at all? I don't even know... I'm not supposed to know that he likes her. Shy wasn't supposed to tell me... I'm scared he is going to leave me. She is just like him, they get along great... I don't want to lose him. He is holding my bare heart in his hands. Will he crush it, or treasure it?
-Your Faithful Writer
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Dear Who Ever,
So, I really miss him... Lately I can't think of a reason to not get back together. He has one hundred percent of my heart. He is the only thing on my mind all the time. I want to give it another chance but I have a feeling it wouldn't end too well... Probably the same way it did before. Or I would give in eventually. I know I wouldn't right now but later on when I'm in even deeper. That bit scares me to pieces... I don't want to use the "L-word" but I care for him so much... When we started dating I put my whole heart into it because I couldn't see any reason we would break up. That is because he lied to me (and himself). Even through all this, I want him back. Half of me is screaming that we can work this out and half of me is warning myself to stay away from him. I can't remember my *list* of reasons to keep away from him but I know there were several reasons, I just forgot...
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Dear Who Ever,
I figured out He still has feelings for me. I care so much about him it's crazy. He says he's just trying to forget (to B***y). I don't want to forget a single second. I have loved these past two weeks so much. <3 He may still like me but he doesn't want to date right now because he isn't ready for a ''waiting relationship''. I believe in abstinence and he does not. He knows I won't give that up no matter what so we broke up. He never tried to pressure me at all. I really just want him to get over it and be content with me with out certain thins. I understand him wanting that, he's a guy but he just needs to accept me *and* what I believe. I didn't expect to fall for him like this, but I did. I've only ever fallen for one other person but I've moved on. Otherwise I wouldn't have fallen for this one so hard. he is always on my mind. I find myself zoning out in class thinking of him and smiling like an idiot. I miss his scent, his hugs, his kissed, holding hands, the tickle wars, his compliments he casually slides in. I miss every thing about him. If I could just see him happy for one moment, that would be amazing... <3 but instead, every time I see him he is sad and won't look at me... :'( after third block I went to the corner to wait for Anne and as I walked up I saw him. He was smiling, actually happy. Not a sad smile :) <3 . It was amazing to see that fantastic smile again. He hasn't smiled since we broke up... :( I really hope he can put aside his wants so we can be happy again. I miss him more than words can explain so I don't know why I'm trying so hard... If we do get back together when I can finally hug him again I'm going to cry from relief... <3 just to bee in his arms one last time or way more than one time... <3 I don't know how to get around this want. I won't give in, that means way too much to me. Also though, I care about him so much, I want to be with him again. It hurts me every day that goes by with out him. He was my reason to smile, still is. I try to be happy but where he goes so does my happiness. I can still laugh but genuine happiness is gone. When I see him, my heart stops and my stomach does flips. Thinking about him sends butterflies into my stomach and just about every part of me. I can feel my pulse quickening...
