Dear Who Ever,
Tomorrow I go to my dads house for the weekend. The cuts on my hand are a little conspicuous so I can't claim they are cat scratches. Even if they did pass as them I wouldn't be able to lie to them. I love my parents so much, I can't bear lying to them. If they see them and ask I am going to tell them the truth, I just can't lie. No matter what happens. That doesn't mean I'm not scared to death of what is going to happen when they do find out... It terrifies me on every level :'( It terrifies me to the point of panic attacks.. Hyperventilating just thinking about it... If they saw the cuts they would insist I was depressed and suicidal and would try to get me to go to a Christian counselor... Nothing against Christian counselors or any thing but if I did go to counseling it would just be with a normal counselor. If that counselor happen to be a Christian then awesome but I don't want the advice I get to be purely from the bible. Some advice from the bible, absolutely. Sometimes though I just want the basic stuff. Plus, I'm not depressed!! I'm perfectly happy with life, other than being scared of their reaction.... I just want to go over there and not feel like a complete and total failure. Letting them down has always been my worst fear in my entire life. Death doesn't scare me near as much. I love them so much and it just kills me to see them so disappointed in me... I've tried so hard to live up to the daughter they want and always fail :'( It devastates me... I am such a failure </3 no matter what I try I always let them down.. :'( Why is it so hard to just be a good daughter?? :'( </3
-Your Faithful Writer </3
