Jesse's Girl

Chapter Twenty

Nervous, excited, scared, ecstatic, and so many other emotions were roaring through Beca's little body as she readied herself for her evening. Chloe came into work that day looking extremely...wow. Beca could not stop her eyes from wandering and to make things worse, Chloe was no longer afraid to be shoulder to shoulder with her. Her mind was still on her client as she stripped and stepped into her shower, remembering all of the times that she had been in one with the woman of her thoughts. Closing her eyes, she let her hands touch the areas of her body as if they were Chloe's. She whined softly as she only increased her need for her ex, fire igniting on every nerve ending, causing all of those feelings that she had forced away to flow back into her until it over flowed the walls of her heart.

"Mommy?" The small sound of her daughter's voice caused her to jump slightly, but she was thankful for the distraction from her thoughts at her most desperate moment. She popped her head out from behind the shower curtain and looked down at the girl that has a striking resemblance to her mother's ex rather than to her mother, "Yeah, sweetie?"

"Why you so happy?" The question caught her off guard, "What do you mean?"

"You been dancing and singing a lot. And I heard you laugh." It was right then that she realized how rare that was to her daughter. It wasn't often, if ever, that she would spontaneously burst into song in front of the child. Even something as simple as a laugh was hard to pull from her mother since that one day years ago. "I'm just in a good mood. That's all."

"Is Chloe coming over?"

"Uh, no. Probably not."

"Why do you get to see her and I don't?" Anne let out an extremely annoying whine and flopped onto the floor. "You can see her when your grandma drops you off at my office tomorrow."

"I wanna see her nooowww."

"But you can't." Beca ducked back into her shower when she felt it started to lose heat and began the washing process quickly. "Whyyy?" The whining continued and Beca sighed, obviously not a fan of the noise. "Because, Anne, she and your daddy don't get along."

"So? Daddy doesn't have to see her."

"Anne, I said no, okay? It's not a good idea for Chloe to come to the house. You will just have to live with seeing her at my office for a while. Now go play, I have to finish getting ready." With a loud groan to express her dislike toward the situation, Anne left her mom alone with her thoughts once again.

"Hey! You made it!" Chloe yelled slightly slurred words as the brunette approached her. "Yeah, of course." Beca smiled and welcomed the small hug as a greeting. "But you're late. I swear you'd be late to your own funeral." A small giggle came from the brunette at the other girl's joke, "Anne was throwing a fit. She wanted to see you, but I had to explain that it wasn't a good idea for you to come to the house."

"Awe, that's cute. Tell her I'll come see her soon." Beca gave a quick nod in response, "You're a great mom, Beca."

"Thank you, Chloe. And you're really good with her, too. I'm sorry I never gave you the chance to be her mom." Chloe sighed, "I was hoping that we wouldn't have this conversation, but we really do need to talk about it. We haven't been able to without me screaming at your every word."

"I totally understand, Chloe. What I did was crazy wrong and I am so very sorry. I should've at least had the balls to tell you instead of just leaving. If it makes it any better, I was bawling the whole time I was packing and when you woke up and reached out for me, immediately ready to protect in case of intruders, I died inside. And not just for that moment. I haven't so much as laughed a real laugh since that night. The only time I get even the slightest bit of happiness is when I'm with my baby girl. I never talk to Jesse, literally. And if I'm being completely honest, I fucking hate his guts. I hate my so called love life without you. It's awful sharing a bed with someone you hate, and I don't even know if what I did was the right thing for Anne anymore. Jesse is rarely home. When he is home, he's not a bad dad, but he's not winning a father of the year award anytime soon. I feel like the world's biggest bitch, and no matter what I am just destined to fuck up." Chloe stared at the woman as she spoke, concentrating on every word that was uttered. She waited a minute or two after she finished before beginning her response,