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Weird School Stories

(Side note: I got iOS 10 and the new typing noises are so satisfying to me for some reason. Idk why)

Ok, I'm gonna tell y'all some weird school stories for no reason whatsoever!

Story #1

My 5th grade teacher was pretty... interesting. There are a lot of stories I could tell about her, but I'll just tell a few of the best ones.

My elementary school had this thing called apple crunch day where the whole school would take a bite of an apple at the same time, and I don't like apples. Most years, I had to go up to the teacher and awkwardly say 'um, I don't like apples' (and I'm a shy person, so this was very hard for me.)

In 5th grade though, I got lucky. I had placed myself in the very back of the apple line, and by the time I got to the apple box, all the apples left were bruised. Then my teacher grabs a lollipop out of this lollipop bucket she had, and said "Here, bite into a lollipop instead!"

SHE GAVE ME SO MANY LOLLIPOPS THAT SCHOOL YEAR. HALF THE TIME I'D JUST GO UP TO HER AFTER SCHOOL AND SAY 'CAN I HAVE A LOLLIPOP?' AND SHE'D GIVE IT TO ME!

She was one of those teachers who didn't even try to hide the fact that she had favorites. And all the kids who weren't her favorites hated her because she made them into the laughing stock of the classroom. Which was funny for everyone except the kid and the kid's friends.

Towards the end of the school year, she must have heard some of the non-favorites talking about her. This caused a 10-minute lecture of her denying she had favorites and bullying since some of the kids in my class were butts.

And in the middle of that lecture, she said '...and I don't give an S-H-I-T about what you think of me. Now don't go telling your parents I said that.' Yeah. Cussing in a class of 11-year-olds. Good going teacher.

The best part was that that was actually how I learned the word shit XD

She did a lot of other strange things, but that would require a whole part to write down.

Story #2

Ok, flash forward to the next school year. My 6th grade science teacher... OH BOY, there are a lot of things I could say about her.

Don't get me wrong, she was an ok teacher, and was pretty nice unless you got on her bad side. But she was overly strict about the most unnecessary things.

Examples:
-You had to copy your homework and notes exactly the way she wrote them on the board. Sometimes she'd go around and check to make sure you didn't have a word missing or something.
-Whenever we had to self-correct a test or whatever, we always had to use red pens. You had blue pens or black pens? NOPE. THAT'S UNACCEPTABLE. THEY NEED TO BE RED.

And she always sounded super bored. Sort of like the adults in Charlie Brown, but you can actually understand her and she has an Irish accent.

And my friend saw a crap ton of boxes of Diet Coke boxes behind her desk once. She drank Diet Coke a lot.

Everyone was sort of scared of her, but they also laughed at her behind her back. I felt kind of bad for her, but it was still pretty funny.

On the 2nd week of school, I forgot my pencil. I had been in that class long enough to be scared of her and to know that she would not like the fact that I did not have a pencil, so I asked a kid near me if he he had a pencil, and he was about to give me one, but the teacher came over and said 'I expect you to have a pencil in my class. Do you have one in your locker?'

'Um, I think so.'

'Well then go get it.'

I did not have a pencil in my locker.

I went into the hallway and scanned the floor for a pencil because I was in full-on panic mode and I was desperate. I could not find a pencil on the floor. I actually walked all the way to a different set of classrooms and still couldn't find one.

I went back into the classroom and told the teacher I couldn't find it in my locker. (get better at lying, past Adrian, JFC)

She said 'Well write it down to bring in pencils'

Not getting it? Think about it for a second. It'll come to you.

Story #3

So I was 7th grade science class, doing a group project on tectonic plates or something, when this girl from the classroom next door comes in, goes up to the teacher and says 'Ms. ____ fell, she needs help.'

I found out later that some kid had his chair pushed out really far, and she tripped over the leg, and hit her head on the counter. Or something like that.

So the teacher tells us to keep working, goes over next door, and we're just looking at each other like 'Oh crap what do we do'

Eventually the kids in the classroom next door came in and it was super cramped and hot and they were super loud and annoying.

The teacher ended up having to go to the hospital.

I have way more weird school stories but this part is almost 950 words. Maybe I'll do a part 2 sometime.