Tucked (REWRITING/EDITING-)

23

Emma.

The surgery is in 5 hours. Again, the words "why me?" run through my head. Just when I'm in the great place in my life, in love, in university, I even have a job. I suppose not everything can go my way. I love him so much, like elementary school love, writing "E <3 E" all over any clean surface. The pure innocence of girl loves boy, boy loves girl captured. He's my best friend too. I almost wish we had started out as friends, rather than moving so fast. But I wouldn't change a thing. Because if I had not fallen head over heels with the guy next door, I would not be as happy as I have been. Call it bittersweet, I suppose.

I shooed Eli out of the room a few minutes ago, to get himself some food. He stayed here all night, and he fell asleep hunched over our clasped hands. After he left, I asked the nurse for pen and paper. Just in case. I also talked to my parents, who seem way too worried. I mean, sure, it's a serious thing I just- ow. I clutch my stomach at the burst of pain in my abdomen, and frantically reach for the call button. It burns, and aches, and every word to describe pain that you can imagine. I whimper and pull my knees to my chest. The nurse bursts through the doors.

"What's wrong hon-" she starts, before she sees me. She rushes over to me and checks my vitals, and that's the last thing I remember.

Eli.

I stroll into the hospital cafeteria, my hands shoved in my jean pockets to keep them from fidgeting nervously. I'm not really hungry, so I go make my self a cup of coffee, when I see a pack of hot chocolate. I smile slightly, and reach for the package. Maybe I'll ask the nurse if Em can have some later. After I finish stirring, I grab some kind of bread product before I go. I need to eat something after all.

I quickly use the restroom, then go check on Sadie in the kids lounge. The little girl is napping peacefully; Mr Caldwell's jacket is draped over her. Bless her little heart. I hope she'll be alright. I sit and watch her for a bit. She has Emma's nose, and chin. I can see the resemblance between the cousins. Suddenly, my butt starts to vibrate. Well, not my butt. My phone, in my back pocket. You know what I mean. It's a text from Emma's mom.

-Come to the room right away.-

I bolt out of the room and speed walk down the hallway. I know, it doesn't really sound like a heroic gait but I actually regard safety in a hospital. I make it to the room in one piece. Just as I'm about to walk in the door opens with Emma being wheeled out. She's unconscious again, and a cluster of nurses are tending to her. A calm doctor gives instructions but I can only catch snippets. I catch up to the steadily moving cart.

"Sir what's going on? Is she okay? What-"

"Son, please give us some space and let us do our job." the older man says, not even looking at me.

I look longingly at Emma and lock that image of her in my mind. I sigh, and walk back to the hospital room. My body is reacting calmly, while my brain is going haywire. Mr Caldwell sits in a plastic chair, head in his hands. His wife is next to him, wringing her hands.

"What's going on? Where are they taking Emma?" I ask.

"There was a...complication. They took her for surgery." Mrs. Caldwell replies

"But that's not for a few hours. Why go early?"

"It was urgent, if they had waited..."

"How bad is it?"

When the words leave my mouth, my heart rate almost slows down. My mouth becomes dry and my stomach drops. Mrs Caldwell bursts into tears. Well, I guess that answers my question. How am I not freaking out? I really should be freaking out. Everything seems light and not real or important. But it is. This is serious, and my heart is breaking. I won't just give up and accept this, Em doesn't deserve that.

I love her so much, the way she is. She is so much, but she chooses not to share it, express it for the world to see. But I saw. I saw, and it was beautiful. To others she could seem like this boy crazy girl with no personality, when that is just not the case. I'd like to think I made a good impact on her, her life, and who she is. I know I did, but the self doubt still runs through me. The thing I could never doubt is my love for Emma Caldwell.