Tucked (REWRITING/EDITING-)

15

Eli.

"No, her real name." Alison says, staring at me intensely.

I sigh. "Emma."

"That's better." She chuckles, leaning back in her chair.

"How could you tell I lied?"

"Easy. You didn't say it like you loved her."

I probably looked confused.

"You do know you love her, right?"

"Um... I..." I stutter.

Do I love Emma? I've only known her for a month at the most. But, we have talked every day. I love her laugh, the way it's different every time. I love her smile, and how easily it comes. I love how fun she is, up for anything. I love that she can be serious or goofy. I love singing with her in the car. I love cuddling with her, how comfortable we are with each other. I love how she understands me. I love our kisses, they are like fireworks.

I love her.

"Poor boy." Alison grins.

I lean back in my chair. I love her. I love Emma.

"Fuck." I say, maybe a bit too loudly.

Emma.

I wake up abruptly, roused my the tearing pain in my abdomen. I reach over to grab my phone and check the time. 10:47pm.
Great. The one day I go to bed early...

I clutch my stomach. Owwww. I stand up shakily, using my bed to help me up. Good, I can stand. I go and get a drink of water. That usually helps.

On the way back to my bed, I stop by my closet. I open the doors and find what I'm looking for. Eli's blue hoodie us in my hands, the soft fabric against my fingers. He left it here after the picnic,the night before he left.

It still smells like him, a mix of faint cologne and the bakery. I wrap it around my shoulders and go back to my bed. The scent soothes me as I snuggle into the sheets. The pain subsides pretty quickly after that, and I drift off.

...

It's a rainy day today, but I don't mind. I love rain, since we almost never get it here. It is California. I stir my peppermint tea as I gaze out the window, admiring the streaks of rain streaming down the glass.

I'm working at the bakery today, so I grab my purse and head out the door. Too bad I don't own an umbrella... Oh well.

The bell above the door tinkles as I enter the little shop. I'm dripping water, since I got fairly damp walking here. By that, I mean drenched. Luckily, we aren't open yet. I pad over to the back room and hang up my wet sweater and purse.

Someone comes up behind me and I startle, only to see that it's Nina.

"Hello dear. I'm afraid we're opening late today. We have to have a new oven installed this morning. I was just about to text you." She smiles warmly.

"Oh, that's alright."

"Would you like to stay and have chat over hot cocoa and leftover muffins? We have use them up somehow."

"Yeah, I'd like that." I say, brightening.

We settle down in the two comfiest chairs in the place, with two steaming mugs of cocoa.

"So, how are you dealing with Eli being gone?" She says, as if she's scheming something.

"Well, I'm kind of lonely. But I'm okay, really."

"You don't have to lie to me dear. What happens here, stays here."

"I do miss him, a lot. I feel like I really know him, even if we just met recently. I... I've had some health problems recently, and I feel alone." I confide shyly, avoiding Nina's gaze.

"You have me dear, you can always talk to me. And you have Eli. You talk every day, don't you?"

I look at her. "Yeah, but he has his own problems. I don't want to make his life harder."

"Ah, young love. Eli wants to be here hon, he's just currently indisposed. You can still confide in him."

"Young what? Never mind. I feel like if I tell him, he'll want to come back, and that will probably make things worse "

"He will want to come, but Eli is a smart boy. He'll figure something out." Nina grabs my hand and squeezes, and I feel a bit better.

I still don't think I should bother him, but talking has helped. When I get home, I plop down and think about our conversation. Wait, didn't Nina mention young love? It's not like that... Well, not yet.

Do I love him? I love his sense of humor, how he always makes me laugh. I love his passion for food, I love his blue eyes and how I always get lost in them. I love how he listens to what I have to say, and actually understands. I love how much he cares. I love how much he loves Nina.

I love him.

This is bad, really bad. What if I scare him away? What if he never comes back? What if I'm sick? What if he doesn't love me back?

I swear loudly multiple times, until I'm interuppted by my ringtone. The caller ID is my doctor. The moment of truth. I swear again, before I pick up.

"Hello?"