Losing It

12

I dialed Jason's number with tears in my eyes. I hope he picked up. It rang three times then he picked up. "Jason! Its me."
"I know what is it?"
"I'm sorry I'm very sorry. I can't sleep eat or think without you."
"I know."
"Jason please." I was sobbing loudly  as it seemed like he was not hearing me.

"I have something to do." He hung up in my ear and I fell on the floor. Right beside me the sheer I used earlier. I  broke it until the silver blade fell out. I dogged into my skin until blood spilled out. I cried loudly but laughed at the pain. The door opening made me jump and Jason walked in. I tried to hide my hand but he beat me to it. "How long?" He asked rubbing my blood. I shook my head and sobbed, his arms wrapped my face in his chest and I cried harder. "Kerr, I'm sorry, but I have something to tell you."
"You're going to leave me aren't you? Go ahead!" I pulled away from him. "Kerr, listen to me."
"What?!"
"Your father is dead!" He screamed at me. I felt like an iron pale hit me in the chest as my body got numb. I stared at him as he searched my face. I was so shock I couldn't even cry, I couldn't move. Instead I felt like I died with him.
"Kerr, I didn't want to say it like this."
"Just go."I croaked.
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Just fucking go!"
"No! You are not going through this alone! Shut up and stay in my arms!" He pulled me into a tight hug,I cried hard in his chest. "I love you kerr."
***
About three hours passed and his heartbeat was slowly calming me down. "He's gone huh?" I said finally looking up at him. "I lost my dad when I was twelve. He rejected my mom and she forced us to move away. Few months later my mom takes me to a church, then I saw him. He lying in a casket, dead. I hate my mom for leaving, but he was the one who married someone else." He said releasing me. I looked at him, he was crying as he spoke. For the first time he showed me real emotions and they were his tears. I rubbed them away with my palm and he kissed my hand. "Kerr, you see your hand. Don't ever hurt yourself again."
"I won't." He lifted his shirt and pointed at light scars that looked like stretch marks on his side. "I tried to take out my anger on myself. My mom would curse and throw me out when another man left her, she would beat and lock me up in the closet. Kerr I know the feeling but its not worth it."
"Is this why you're so dark?"
"Yes, and because I'm so dark I need you for my light." I laughed and slapped his knee.
"That's cheesy but cute." I said before kissing his scars. He shivered when my tongue touched him. His hand brought my face to his and he swallowed me in. His hands moved to my waist and I straddled him. I could feel his erection under me and I heard him groan when I moved over it. My garments were shifted and his finger slipped in. I moaned. He groaned. This seemed like a fair game of lovemaking. As he laid me on my back and fingered me harder. His tongue was moving all over my mouth. Then I felt something hard replace his fingers. I moaned louder this time not in his ear but out in the room. "You're brother is down stairs." He said sliding his wet fingers in my mouth. I taste good if I must say. He moved faster in me and I felt the air get lighter. Then without any warning I began to scream as he rigged deeper and faster. He then pulled out and I saw my fluid squirting on his leg. He lifted me and put me on my knees. He slipped his penis in my mouth and moved back and forth until I followed the rhythm. I heard him groan and he shivered then pulled away. My mouth was filled with his contents and he smiled. I did the polite thing even though I didn't want to, I swallowed it and he came to kiss me. "Thank you." He said.
"Yeah." I got up and went to the bathroom to shower.