Neglected Desires

Chapter 23

"Excuse me?" The sharp tone of his words were harsh to my ears and that caught me by surprise, especially given the fact that he had never spoken to me in that tone for the decade we'd been friends.

"You damn well heard me." His eyes boring into mine with an intensity that showed his displeasure at the sight he had found when he entered the office.  "You were out of line." Crossing my arms over my chest and leaning slightly over his desk, getting only minimally closer to him.

"Really? So looking out for you is out of line?" Slowly he stood from his chair, his eyes never leaving mine, the hight difference caused by his heels making me step back slightly and look up just barely into his normally soft face, now marred with an angry expression.

"She's an employee, this is a business problem." Resting his large hands on the sturdy desk, leaning his frame towards me slightly, a slick attempt at intimidation that might work with his employees and maybe even his father, but not me. "You're my lover, my girlfriend, but you have no place in my business." Tilting my head at him as I let his choice of words sink in.  My heart was sinking at the implications of his words, and I was sure he didnt' mean those words the way I took them, but I couldn't stop that sinking feeling.

"Fine, she's your business," my voice soft and so much calmer than it had been, trying to make him see this situation the way I did, "but she, your business, is the one who dragged your personal life into this building yesterday." He huffed a breath, his cheeks growing slightly red in what I could only assume was frustration.

"Damn it Alexa, I don't need you fighting my battles." His voice raising slightly which each word causing my heart to pound at the sight of this side I'd never seen of him. "I don't need your help with my business and I didn't need it yesterday with him." It was the verbal punch in the gut I didn't see coming that caused my gaze to drop from his and focus instead on his yellow covered chest. Sucking my lips into my mouth as I drew a deep breath and nodded in acceptance of what those words really meant to me and what they meant for us. Maybe he thought our conversation was over, or maybe he hoped it was, either way he sat down and returned his attention to his papers cluttering his desk without another word to me.

"Ok, so you don't need me in your business," my voice steady and calm, "and you apparently don't need me in your personal life either based on what you've just said." His hands stopped shuffling through papers as I spoke l, but he never looked at me. "So I'm guessing I'm just the naive piece of ass you keep sitting around here for when you're frustrated, you know, like when your dad shows up unexpectedly." I give him a minute, in fact it feels like a lifetime, to respond, to say anything at all, but the room stays silent. He looks like he's frozen in time and I'm certain I can actually hear my heart breaking, the crack growing wider the longer I stand there watching his unresponsive form. "Look where you live Prince. You live where you record, write, rehearse for tours, make videos, conduct meeting. There is no distinction between your business and your personal life, it's all your business. So if I don't belong in your business then I have no place here." Turning and walking towards the door as I started to feel the sting of tears building behind my eyes. I thought I heard him stand behind me, take a few steps even, but I never saw him. He never came up to the residence, where I grabbed my keys and packed a few essential items. He wasn't still in the office when I walked by again. He wasn't in the lobby as I headed for the door, passing Kellie's desk.

'Oh Alexa," her voice caught my attention as i strode quickly past her, causing me to stop, "he's in the big rehearsal space if you need him for. .." her words trailing off as I turned my tear stained face to her, shaking my head. Her face covered over in confusion and I headed out of the building before she could put together the question I saw on the tip of her tongue.

I left Paisley Park that morning not knowing if I'd ever go back, or if i really wanted to.  I drove in silence, trying to keep my mind focussed on the road and off the events that had transpired in the last 24 hours, all the way back to my apartment which I hadn't seen in a few weeks. Pulling into the parking lot and my assigned parking space, I waited for that calming sense of relief to wash over me, that feeling that tells you your home, but it never came.  As I walked up to my door and even after I stepped inside, still nothing and that's when I realized this no longer felt like home to me. This wasn't home...he wasn't here. Closing the front door, I pressed my back against the solid wood before sliding down to the comfort of the floor. My body shook with the force of the tears pushing from my eyes as I thought about that statement. I sat there wondering if this was the end of our relationship, and our friendship for that fact, until my tears seemed to dry up. All I wanted to do was get back in my car and run back to him. I wanted to be wrapped in his arms and forget this whole thing ever happened, but that wasn't going to happen. He let me leave. He showed no sign of concern for how I felt. And that was inexcusable to me. The soft timid knock at my front door startled me and pulled me from my thoughts. Quickly wiping my face and taking a few quick breaths, trying to gain some composure, I opened the door expecting to find him standing there with a sad look on his face and an apology in those soft lips. Instead I opened the door and saw nothing.

"Alexa!" A small, excited voice drew my eyes down, where I finally saw Kevin standing, his face lit up with the innocent smile of a child. I smiled back only to watch his fade.

"Hey Kevin." Bending down to wrap him in a tight embrace, his small arms squeezing around my neck. "I've missed you." Pulling back to look at his face. Still the same chubby cheeks, but his frame looked smaller causing me to wonder if Alysha was feeding him.

"I missed you too!" His excitement was palpable and it made me forget about all my personal drama. "Did mommy send you?" His dark eyes wide and curious, his words causing me to reflect his expression.

"What do you mean honey? Where's your mommy?" Shrugging his shoulders.

"I dunno. She left with daddy."  Furrowing my brow at his words I stood up, taking his hand in mine and walked over to his mothers apartment. Walking inside the unlocked door I called Aliyah's name and search through the messy rooms only to find that he was right. Kevin was in fact all alone. Taking a quick look at my watch I noticed it was almost 3pm.

"Kevin," crouching down to his eye level, "when did your mommy leave?" The expression on his face didn't change, as though the words he uttered were completely normal for a small child.

"Last night."