Sing and Dance

I hate them so I won't hate myself more

What's really awful I find
Is that when I open my eyes
Those whom I despise
If they really tried
Could turn around my mind
And make me realize
That really I'm
The one I despise
And they, I'm surprised
Are who I idolize
Because they look so alive
And I,
I have thoughts of suicide
Preparing in my head my demise
And they smile like they idealize
The fact that I'm dying inside
But really I only know of my twisted mind
And I make them out to be the bad guys
When only I see past my disguise
And I tell myself I hate them when I'm the one I truly despise
When I'm the one who can't decide
Whether or not I want to be alive
Saying I don't want to be like them would be a lie
But I don't have the motivation to even try
So I'll keep hating them, not because they're bad guys
But because I'm too far gone to live my own life