I sit in the hospital chair, waiting for news about Spencer. My phone buzzes and I dig into my pocket, trying to find it. When I finally pull it out, I had ten missed calls and a bunch of texts.
Hey where are you??
Aria answer you phone!!
I'm worried!
Please I need to know you're alright.
I called you ten times now and you still haven't answered. Please call me back.
Aria, come on, answer!
I shut off my phone and sighed. I didn't want to talk to him right now, especially when my best friend was on deaths bed.
"Spencer Hastings" A nurse calls, stepping out of a room and shutting the door behind her.
I shoot up, eager to hear the news about Spencer. She was a fighter, I was sure she'd be alive. I approach the nurse, who was frantically writing on her clipboard.
"And you are?" She asks, giving me a stern look.
"Aria Fit....." I stop myself before I could go any further. "Aria Montgomery"
"So how are you related to Spencer Hastings?" The nurse, who's badge read Ann, asks.
"I was the one who brought her in. I'm her best friend. Her mother is right over there" I pointed to Mary Drake who was sitting in a chair close to the vending machine.
She had been crying, I was sure of it. After she'd admitted she was Spencer's biological mother, it was kind of weird.
Ann ditched her conversation with me and went to talk to Mary. I heard bits and pieces of the conversation but wasn't able to hear the whole thing. I went back to my chair and waited for news on Spencer.
Two hours later, we were informed that she was in recovery and was asleep. She went through a long surgery and needed to rest for awhile. So I decided to go home. I fiddled with my key chain, trying to find the key to the apartment. I shoved it in the lock and turned, the door opening with ease. I set down my jacket on the chair in the kitchen and looked around, locking eye contact with the person I was avoiding. He runs to me and stretches out his arms for a hug but I step back.
"Aria I was so worried! You didn't answer any of my calls or texts." He says, looking at me smiling.
"Oh you were worried about me!" I say, walking in a circle around him. "What about when I was calling you? What about when I was worried sick that you were in a ditch somewhere? YOU were supposed to be home today"
I took a breathe in between my sentences. Anger was building up inside me.
"Aria" He started but I stopped him.
"Don't." I say "you didn't care to let me know that you were still going to be in Columbia, locking lips with your ex lover. Maybe that would have been good to know so I could have high tailed it out of this relationship sooner"
Ezra looks hurt but I didn't care. I had cried for hours at the hospital. About Spencer and about him. I just couldn't keep my feelings in right now.
"Please" He steps closer to me but I jump back.
"Seriously don't touch me" I say, holding my hands up.
"You know what Ezra. I was with Jason this weekend while you were away. He and I used to be a couple sometime in those five years. We're friends now, not lovers. I didn't kiss him since he's not my fiancé. You are."
I point at him, tears run down my cheeks. I feel betrayed again.
"I took the job at the publisher to try to reconnect with you! Only you! I wanted to see you but didn't have enough guts to call you"
Ezra gasps "You took the job to see me?"
"Yeah I did and you were a huge pain in the ass" I smirk.
"Oh my god, Aria. Stop forgiving him!" I whisper to myself, running my hands through my hair.
"Aria, please let me explain" Ezra begs, as he moves closer to me.
I run closer to him, I just couldn't resist him. He was like my drug.
"Just looking at you makes this so much harder" I tell him, our faces close.
"Hey" He says, using his finger tips to whip the tears off my cheeks. "Don't cry"
His big blue eyes gleamed with tears. His lips were parted just perfectly, like they wanted to be kissed. I leaned in and he did too.
"Oh my god" I said, pulling away before our lips touched. "I can't. I can't right now"
I grabbed my jacket and headed for the door.
"Aria! Where are you going?" He asks me, rushing after me but I already had my hand on the door knob.
"I'm leaving. I can't sit here and act like you didn't cheat on me. I love you, I always will but I need time" I say, opening the door.
"Please, stay" He touches my arm and I just melt into a puddle.
"I don't think that's a good idea" I says slowly.
"You can stay in the bed, I'll sleep on the couch" He tells me.
I give in and shut the door. Ezra started to unfold the bed sheets and fluffing the pillows. The memory of that night, flashed in my mind. The night I was so happy to finally be back with my true love. The night I kissed him and we took it way further.
"I can't stay in the bed" I say, moving over to the couch. "If I'm gonna stay, I'll stay here"
I plop down on the couch. Ezra nods but seems uneasy. He deserves to feel uneasy.
"This is the one you liked, right?" He asked, holding up the yellow Hollis shirt.
"Yeah that's the one" I say, grabbing it out of his hand.
Once I'm changed, I return to the couch to find Ezra sitting on top of it.
"I'm tired, Ezra" I say "please don't start this tonight"
I wait for him to get up but he doesn't.
"I want to tell you what happened" He pats the open spot next to him, indicating me to sit but I don't.
"What if I don't want to know?" I ask
"Why not?" He questions
"Damn it, Ezra! It's because I might not want to know the answer. I don't want to know why you kissed your ex girlfriend even though you knew I was waiting for you at home. I'm your fiancé!"
I pace around the room, running my fingers through my hair.
"I love you so much, Ezra. I never stopped loving you. I loved you when I was with other guys, I loved you when I was single, and I love you now. There's a special place in my heart that's made for loving you, but my heart hurts right now" I say
"Ar..." He starts but I cut him off.
"Not right now. I'm talking and you're going to listen to everything I have to say" I tell him and he nods.
"I struggle. I struggle all the time thinking about how I might be your rebound. Your second choice to Nicole. I don't know, Ezra. It runs through my mind constantly. I can't help but think it's true and especially after tonight. I was expecting you home. I made you a romantic dinner. I was being going to be the first person you saw when you stepped through that door. The one to greet you with a hug and a kiss. The one to help you through the hard times. But you didn't come home, so I turned on the tv after not getting any response from you, to find my fiancé, kissing another woman. Do you know how I felt? I felt betrayed. I felt hurt on so many levels and here you are waltzing in and acting like nothing happened. But it did. I want to forgive you, because I could never stay mad at you. It's easy for me to fall back in love every time I see you. I just don't know why you would do this" All my feelings come spilling out, one by one.
"I don't know why you would do this to me. I love you" I add.
"And I love you" He says
"Then why'd you kiss her. Why'd you risk our marriage to kiss a girl you haven't seen in five years?" I ask
"Aria, I love you. I say it everyday. I don't know what happened to me. I was so relived that she was actually alive that I just ran to her and before I knew it, we were kissing. It didn't mean anything to me, Aria. I promise you" He says, trying to reach me.
I shoot back again. "You can't kiss someone if it didn't mean anything"
"It didn't mean anything. I was caught in the moment. Aria I want to marry you. Not Nicole. I want to spend the rest of my life with you" He calls as I continue to walk around the room.
"Promise?" I ask and he holds up his pinky.
"I promise"
"I still need time, Ezra. I need to think about this. I'll find another place to sleep tomorrow but for tonight I'll stay here" I say
He gets off the couch and gives me a small peck on the cheek. I wince, something I've never done in his presence. He heads for the bed where he pulls the covers over his body and sinks his head into the pillow. That's when I start longing to be there, in his arms. I know I shouldn't, but I forgive him, I'm just not ready to tell him that yet.
