How to be a heartbreaker

Part 1: Chapter 8. The Finale.

Our last time seeing each other wasn't special. It was like every other time.

He called me over and claimed he wanted to be with me. Claimed he wanted to try things out between us.

What a fucking idiot I was to think he was telling the truth.

How do I get away from this unstable "relationship"?

It's so hard to just let go.

I still love him.

I'm still hopelessly in love.

I'm okay.

You know how they say you're always exactly where you're supposed to be at?

That happened to me this weekend.

I happened to crave some Italian food, so of course I took my trusty side kick Karina with me and we headed to Carrabbas.

I mean let's face it, that place is so much better than Olive Garden.

As soon as I walked in, I knew he was there. I look to my right and there he is. Standing there in all black with a red apron tied around his waist.

He was still fucking beautiful. Even Karina thought so.

This is where fate steps in.

Our waitress was this cute redhead that talked too much, but that's okay with me.

First off, her name was Kayla. Obviously my name is Kayla as well.

My first thought was to ask how long she had been there.

Her answer was only a few months. She gave me the rundown, said the pay was pretty well and the people were cool.

That's when I stepped in saying I had a "friend" that worked there.

Ha. Friend my ass.

Then she did the unthinkable and went to walk away to go get Evan.

I. Freaked. The. Fuck. Out.

I quickly yelled that she didn't need to get him and her reaction was taken back by my little outburst.

What else was I supposed to do? I didn't want him knowing I was secretly hoping for him to be working that day.

She comes back handing us our checks and that's where fate steps in for the second time that day.

Evan happened to be standing directly in front of us.

I know he saw me.

I know he saw us talking.

I hope he fucking knew we were talking about him.

His eyes avoided my gaze, but I saw the way he looked at me when he walked back and forth where he was at.

Then finally for the last time, fate stepped in for a third time within the hour we were there eating.

Kayla broke the news.

Evan had a girlfriend.

My facial expression obviously told her something.

She instantly asked if I knew something, so I spilled the beans.

She just stared at me.

Evan's girlfriend of FIVE MONTHS was Kayla's ROOMMATE.

Tell me how fate didn't magically put her as our waitress?

I needed that information.

I desperately needed to hear that.

The whole 7 months that we messed around and did our thing, 5 of them he was WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

My mind was blown.

I mean this was huge news.

I couldn't believe that I was literally just a fucking SIDECHICK to him.

One that he only needed for a quick fuck and a good blowjob.

Apparently his girlfriend wasn't enough for him.

The arrogant part of me feels proud that he continuously came to me to get his feel. But the vulnerable part of me is hurt.

I'm not gonna lie, I mean I told y'all from the getgo that this wasn't something I was going to sugarcoat.

I was fucking HURT by that news.

I know I've got more important things to worry about, but this just stuck with me.

A part of me wanted to tell him that the baby growing inside me is his, so maybe.. just maybe he would think we needed to be together.

A part of me wants to text him and tell him how fucking in love with him I am. To tell him that he fucked my whole world up when I connected my eyes to his for the first time.

A part of me wants to kick him a couple of good times in the balls, but then I realize he obviously doesn't have any because he lead me on for so long.

A part of me wants to go back to Carrabbas and befriend that wonderful waitress who gave me that news so I can meet this girlfriend. This Lauren girl that he had been with for half a year.

A part of me seriously wants to befriend them both in hopes that Lauren invites Evan over while I'm there. I wanted to see that reaction when he saw that his sidechick and his girlfriend were friends.

Of course, a part of me wanted to be the bitch that found this girlfriend of his and tell her. Tell her about the times between us. Shit is just give her my phone and let her read this play by play of the last 7 months.

A part of me just wants to get over it.

Get over the hurt that he causes me.

Get over the fact that he won't ever fucking be mine.

Get over the fact that I never actually had him.

Get over the fact that she was the one sleeping in his bed at night cuddled up to him, while I was just called over for a few short hours.

It fucking hurts ending this.

I didn't even tell my best friend how hurt I was. I just played it off like I knew he was the Fuckboy of the century.

I should've known.

I'm obviously stupid.

I'm obviously vulnerable.

I'm obviously still crazy about him even after the fact.

I think it's time for this story to come to an end.

I can't really explain how I'm feeling.

I'm hurt?

I'm desperate for his love?

I'm too in over my head?

I'm in love?

I'm lonely?

I'm broken-hearted?

I'm shocked?

I honestly don't know.

But you know what?

I'll heal. ❤️

-Love always,

Kayla.

_____

Well you guys. This is it. It's finally came to an end. This is actually goodbye to this story. I spent 7 months of this year thinking something would actually work out.

This story was honestly all over the place. I'm so sorry, but it's how it goes.

Now that it's over, I've got a story up my sleeve. At least he gave me one good thing and that was this story.

Well not a story. A documentary, or something.

See you soon. 🌪