Why Don't You Figure My Heart Out? (Matthew Healy)

// Drink, Fall, Spew. //

The days passed and finally I was free from college. No more teachers or idiotic students. Ryan came over and we celebrated.

“I’m free bitches!” I yelled, taking a swig from the bottle of cheap champagne he had brought over to my apartment. We were blaring music and jumping all over the place. I was so excited for my life to finally start.

“Oh my god Maddy, The 1975 are playing tomorrow. We finally get to see them!” Ryan said excitedly. I felt my own excitement kick in for tomorrow and soon enough, the bottle of champagne was gone.

“Yay yay yay yay!” I was so incredibly happy to finally see the band that’s made me so happy for so many years. I went through a lot of stuff when I was in my early teen years. I got bullied a lot. I began to self-harm at the age of 13 and continue up until when I was 17. I tried to commit suicide numerous times and I went through bulimia. Most of my actions were on account of my parents. My father was an abusive asshole who only though about 2 things; beer and himself. My mother, on the other hand, was a heroin addict. She would blow away all of our money for a small fix. I had to start working 2 jobs at age 14. One was at Tesco, the other at Asda. I hated my life at that point. Why did I have to support my parents financially when they were supposed to be supporting me? My mother is currently in rehab and my father is in jail. I don’t really see them anymore.

 

*Saturday*

The day is finally here. Ryan and I are waiting in line, the happiness and excitement coursing through my veins. The line kept moving up, person by person, until we were only 3 people away. After one hour of waiting we were at the front of the line. I handed my ticket over to the door man and after he checked my I.D me and Ryan were in. We walked down the stairs to the bottom of the venue and went and got a couple of drinks from the bar. We sat at a small table at the back of the room and sipped our drinks, watching the opening band play. We finished our drinks and The 1975 were due to go on any second. Ryan and I pushed through a few people and got close to the stage. The lights dimmed slightly and everybody screamed. I saw Matty come out, pushing his hair back and out of his face, and then the rest of the band followed his lead.

“Hello Manchester! It’s great to be back in our home town doing what we love for the people we love; you guys!”

They then launched straight into Chocolate and I was so happy. I let a few tears slip from my eyes; I was finally seeing them. I was finally seeing the band that was closest to my heart. They went through their set playing all of my favourites; Robbers, Girls, Heart Out, M.O.N.E.Y, The City, You and a few others. After the show, I was covered in sweat. I went and got a beer from the bar with Ryan. Practically everybody had fucked off and gone home so we were practically the only people still there.

“So did you enjoy the show?” I heard from besides me, just thinking it was another guy trying to get in my pants. I turned my head to look at him and it was no other than Matty fucking Healy. I tried to be as cool as possible, but I was talking to him. One of my favourite people on the entire planet.

“Yeah, you played all of my favourite songs. Thank you so fucking much for playing Chocolate, that’s my absolute favourite” I said, smiling from ear to ear.

“Hey, it’s no problem. One of my favourites too. I saw you in the crowd and I just wanted to say that you are stunningly beautiful, love” he smiled, taking a sip of his beer. He pulled out two cigarettes, offering me one. I took it from his hand and lit up. I liked this venue, mainly because you were allowed to smoke in here. I took a long drag and thanked him for his compliment. ”We’re having a little after party backstage right now, quite exclusive. Did you and your boyfriend want to come? What are your names, anyway?” he asked.

“Oh, he’s not my boyfriend” I laughed. “Just a friend. I’m Maddy and this is Ryan” I smiled, shaking Matty’s hand.

“Well it's very nice to meet you Maddy and Ryan. Huh, Matty and Maddy" he chuckled. "Come on backstage then, we have booze and weed” he smiled. He took my hand and led us backstage where the real party began.