Why Don't You Figure My Heart Out? (Matthew Healy)

// But on this shirt I found your smell //

About a month passed and we were actually happy. But then Matty left for tour and I was alone. I hadn’t seen Ryan for ages and decided that we needed a little catch up. I messaged him on facebook and told him that he just HAD to come to Robinsons so we could get coffee and chat. He messaged me saying that he’d love to. It was early in the morning, 6:07am to be exact. We were meeting at 2:00pm when I got off work. I got all ready for work, wearing my black skater skirt, ripped tights, Iron Maiden shirt and my big black platform boots. The best thing about the newspaper I work for is that they don’t give a damn what you look like, as long as you’re a good writer. I hopped on the train to work and got there about 15 minutes later. I wrote a few articles, all to be published on different days. I write about many things. Today I wrote about a landslide, a convicted felon and what it’s like to date a rockstar. All completely different things. After work I had a quick cigarette and then hopped back onto the train. I went straight to Robinsons and saw Ryan already sitting inside, sitting with his hands tucked neatly between his knees, looking around and doing exactly what we do: making up backstories about the people in there. I walked in a quickly walked up to him and hugged him tight.

“Long time no see” he smiled.

“It has been a while. How have you been?”

“Good” he replied. “Got a boyfriend now. His name’s Kyle. You should meet him sometime” he smiled just talking about the guy.

“Me too” I smirked.

“You and Matty?” he grinned.

“Yuuup” I said, dragging out the ‘u’.

“Finally! Thank god!”

“I know” I smiled back. Matty’s only been gone for a week but I already miss him. We skype as much as possible, but it’s still not the same. He’s always busy when he’s touring, so I only get to talk to him about 4 times a week and he won’t be back for 3 months. Plus when he does get back he’s only here for a couple of weeks. I miss everything about him, from his leather jacket and hair to his scent and the way he talks. The softness of his speech and his smell of second hand smoke, the way he always makes me feel like me and him are the only two people in the world. I miss him so incredibly much and all I want is for him to come home and lay in bed with me so we can watch great movies and get high but I’m here and he’s there and I miss him. Oh god how I miss him. I haven’t touch him in a week or kissed him or hugged him. I just want him to come home.

“Maddy? You still with me?” I heard Ryan call as he waved his hand if front of my face.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry” I said, shaking my head slightly. “What’d you say?”

“I said me and Kyle are having a small party in a couple of days and you should definitely come”

“Yeah, I should be able to make it” I said in a kind of monotone voice.

“You really miss him, don’t you?”

“Yeah. He’s only been gone a week and I miss him already”

“I know sweetie, but you have to remember that he is in a band. He’s gonna be touring a lot. If you want to be together, you have to make it work”

“I know. Yeah, I know. I have to go but could you text me the details for the party?” I asked as I pulled out my phone.

“Of course, lovely” Ryan smiled and I got up and gave him a big hug before saying goodbye and leaving. I walked home and had a shower, then got cozied up on the couch and put on a movie. It’s about midday where Matt is right now and he isn’t playing a show until later tonight so I called him. He answered on the second ring.

“Hey love” he said.

“Hey baby”

“What’s up?”

“Nothing, I just miss your voice. I miss you”

“I miss you too, babe. I’ll be back in no time okay? Just hold tight. Remember what I told you before I left?” he asked, and I thought about it.

*flashback*

I had just gone to the airport to see Matty and the rest of the band off. We stood just before customs and were saying our goodbyes. I said goodbye to George, Ross and Adam before I said goodbye to Matty.

“I’m gonna miss you” I said, getting a bit emotional.

“It’s okay, babe. I’m gonna miss you too. But always remember that when I’m gone, my voice is your voice and your heartbeat is in every strum of my guitar” he said before kissing me goodbye and going through customs.

*end of flashback*

“Yeah babe. I remember. I just miss you so damn much already. Please come back soon”

“I’ll be back in a couple of months. I love you. I have to go now; we’re just about to go exploring the city. But I’ll skype you later. I want to see your beautiful face”

“Okay. I love you too” I said and then hung up. At least I get to see him soon, even if it is through a webcam.

 A/N finally I wrote a new chapter and hopefully I'll be writing a few more soon