Path To Redemption (Fighter's Den, #1)

Chapter 30 - Emily

Ever experienced a moment where it feels like your heart is literally being ripped out of your chest?

It sucks.

A lot.

Not only does it hurt, like the kind of pain that makes it hard to breathe, but that feeling of absence in your chest is so overwhelming you have no choice but to bear with the emptiness because in that moment it's all you know.

I think the feeling of absence hurts worse than actual pain.

Kind of like if you lose a limb for good. You'd rather the damn thing be painful enough to extract screams in the middle of the night then have it gone completely.

I feel like I've lost a limb. A vital organ, really, and it's kind of hard to function when it's not there. Right now it's in Jaxon's hands and it's breaking. Shattering. Fucking obliterating. I see that same state of broken reflecting in his eyes and it kills me that much more. We're both experiencing the same level of pain right now and somehow I take reassurance from that fact.

The girl wrapped around him like a vise, who I immediately recognize as Tara, shoots me a lethal stare. I try to stand my ground but I'm a little preoccupied internally gawking at how gorgeous she is. Her hair is in naturally loose springy curls and the borderline caramel colour of it matches her big eyes. Her face is structured and sleek with high cheekbones and some seriously plump lips. She has a body that's nothing short of runaway worthy and is encased in form-fitting clothes that graciously show off her assets. It's mostly her face that keeps my attention because she looks so much like Lizzie that it causes a painful pang in my chest. It's like facing the reality that she's Lizzie's mother while I'd stupidly thought I could fit that role. Tara holds so much finality of the two people in this world I love most and it's nothing short of intimidating. Still, I try not to let it show even while she presses herself more tightly against Jaxon and my heart explodes with raw jealousy.

I hate feeling this way.

Almost as if snapping out of a trance, Jaxon grabs her shoulders and pushes her back a couple of steps before stepping away himself. Tara looks equally enraged and embarrassed of her public rejection and she turns to me once more. Her lips twist in a controlled smirk as she eyes me up and down in a way that says she doesn't like what she sees. I cross my arms in defense at first but I quickly become angry that she's the one who abandoned her own family and is somehow judging me. I can literally feel any remnants of intimidation leave me and instantly replace with a strong sense of determination. This bitch is not about to walk back into the lives of those I love as if they'd put everything on pause for her. If she wanted to get to my family, she'd have to go through me first.

"So," she starts saucily. "You're his flavour of the month."

"Tara." Jaxon growls from beside her in warning, fists clenching. Something tells me he's been doing that since she walked in the gym.

"A few months now actually." I throw back easily and blink my eyes in innocence. "From what I know, that's longer than he could stand you, right?"

Jaxon coughs into his fist and Cameron grins, making his fingers like guns and shooting the air sort of maniacally. I resist the urge to smile so I can maintain my passive demeanour.

"Cute." She scoffs. "It takes more than a few months to make a baby with someone so I'm gonna have to correct your jealous assumption, sweetheart."

Cameron moves his poised fingers to the back of Tara's head and mimics shooting. A little immature but I still snort in silent laughter. She turns around and looks confused when Cameron stares back at her, hands folded in front of him like the embodiment of a good boy. Jaxon rolls his eyes and cautiously walks over to me. I avert my gaze, embarrassed of my obvious jealousy. He stands beside me and links his hand in mine. I keep the hold loose because, despite my tough front, I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed right now. I can't help but feel of lesser value in the presence of Lizzie's biological mom. That a far more important title than a shoo-in.