Once Upon A Time

When Chances Fades Away

I find it stupid when people fall in love and forgot the whole world just because of that person but how come I became one of them. I never believe in fairy tales until this experience change my belief otherwise. I was not convince about prince and princess until one day I had wished that I am. I hated romance but how come I ended loving the idea about it.

Love is not my thing until one day, I just woke up and found myself falling for someone who could not be mine. I just realized that I am falling from a trap that caught me before. How I wished that love is as can goods, you will know till how long would it last. How I wished it was just as appliances, you will have the warranty whatever happens. I just wished loving is like lending money in a bank for you to be informed on when will be the due date. And I just wished that love was just as wattpad application, you can have the news feed whenever you wanted to be informed about your real score in his heart, you can receive a notification if he is willing to love you back and for you to be updated. How I wished love has its visible boundaries for you to know your limitations and distances.

Unfortunately love were not as those things are. Love is something that don't talk to anyone. Love is like an illness, you could be inflicted in times you have expected the least. It is a disease that makes your life miserable and ruin the other lives as well if you cannot cure it.

"You always keep yourself busy Angela. You spent your whole time sketching. Why wouldn't you face Elijah and talk to him just for this moment. He is waiting for you in the exit door." My best friend said as she pointed Elijah waiting outside the classroom. Hindi ko maiwasang tumingin sa exit door. Our eyes met and I am the first one who looked away. I'm done with him. Ayaw ko nang maging tanga. Hindi ko na iyon uulitin pa.

He just always gives me false hopes. I had fallen a lot of times for him but he haven't catch me even once. I've already wasted too much tears for him and I had convinced myself that it was already enough to stopped from hoping that he will love me back. I had enough of my stupidity. Can he just leave me alone? Can he just get rid off me? I'd already stopped chasing him. What does he wants from me? Leave him alone? I've done it! Let go of him? I already did it. Forgot him? I already survived without even thinking a single about him. I've done everything just to forget that he existed in my life, that I love him, that I know him.

I hurriedly arranged my sketch papers and books in the table then went out in the entrance door. I don't want to see him waiting for me in the exit door. Upon walking into the hallway, I just realized that he is already walking beside me. Just great! Destiny was such a great friend of mine and take note the sarcasm.

I was about to take a shortcut when my sketch papers were carried away by the strong blew of the wind. I started picking up those sketches just what he is doing right now as well. He had helped me from picking up those sketches.

"Thanks." I said plainly when he reached out those sketches to me.

"You still have those sketches of myself." He said and I just rolled my eyes. I do have but I am not already fan of him. Those sketches doesn't have any meaning to me. It was just a plain sketch for me, nothing more, nothing less.

"You can have these if you want because in the first place, these sketches' essence and importance have already faded and gone a long time ago, ever since I stopped loving you." I handed him those sketches of him and I started walking when he had appeared in front of me, a signal that I should stopped from walking.

"Look, I'm sorry Marie Angela for avoiding you before, for pushing you away. But right now, I want to court you. I love you." he confessed it to me. What if he just did it when I am still head over heels for him? Maybe right now I'm the happiest woman.

Pinagmasdan kong maigi ang kanyang mukha. Inalala ko ang lahat ng bagay at rason kung bakit ko siya nagustuhan. Bakit nga ba ako baliw na baliw sa lalaking ito noon? Kapag tinamaan ka nga naman ng pag-ibig.

Ngayon ko lang siya natitigan sa malapitan. Ngayon lang kasi niya ako nilapitan.

I closed my eyes before I utter the things I should have said before.

"Hearts also got tired from loving Elijah. Everything has its end, feeling fades away and even chances will be gone. Maybe I had love you a lot of times but the feeling was not in my heart anymore. I had loved you but it was gone a very long time ago, it is when you still don't need me in your life, when you still doesn't love me back." I sighed for the last time.

"Forever was just for a while. Everything has its limitation, its boundaries and expiration. I was too tired waiting for you, I was too hurt already loving you still. Better to stop as what you've said and start new when it's gone." And with that... I walked away. Long away from the hallway, long away from him, long away from Elijah, long away from the man whom I once loved.

Nothing is permanent. Lahat ng bagay ay may hangganan kaya dapat marunong kang magpahalaga sa kung anong meron ka sa kasalukuyan nang sa huli ay wala kang pagsisisihan.