IV

260 7 14

by ReadyButDead

by ReadyButDead

(A/n: This chapter will contain self harm. Proceed with caution.)

Nico's PoV:

I keep walking, to my 'home.' I make it to there, walk inside and lock the door. I can't stop thinking about Will. Placing my backpack on the counter of my kitchen, I start doing homework.

~2 Hours Later~

Will was right. Out of all the homework I got, Mrs. Elgort's took the longest. I check the time and it says, 6:30 P.M. I have the rest of the day to do nothing. Yay. I put my homework away, in my backpack, walk inside my room and go to sleep.

I run around the corner, Bianca close behind me. I turn and see Mama running towards us too. "Mama!" I say. She rushes toward me and Bianca, and shushes us. "What is it Mama?" I ask. She looks at me and puts her finger to her lips. "Mama?" Bianca whispers. "Please kids, be quiet." Mama replies. "Mama, I'm hungry!" I say loudly. Mama looks around alarmed, and me and Bianca see him. He's dressed in full black, and is holding a gun. He walks a few steps forward and shoots Mama's chest. Me and Bianca scream, as Mama falls to the floor. The man runs away, and I'm sobbing. Bianca goes to the floor where Mama fell, and feels her neck. She starts sobbing, stands up and hugs me. We both sit next to Mama sobbing until the police come. They take us to daddy, and he takes care of us. For now.

I wake up with a scream in my throat. I do scream, and realize it was just a dream. I go to the bathroom, open a drawer and pull out a razor.

Looking in the mirror, I pull down my shirt sleeve and put the razor on my wrist and cut. I groan of satisfaction comes out. It's only been a few days since I've cut, but it feels like it's been months.

I feel my warm blood going down my arm. I close my eyes and repeat it.

Unloved.
Unwanted.
Useless.
Disgrace.
Waste of space.
Loser.
Pointless.
Disgusting.
The list keeps going.

I open my eyes, and see the damage. Going down my arm all the way to the elbow is sticky warm blood. I rinse my arm carefully, and dry it, wincing. I grab a band aid and tie it around my wrist.

I go back to my bed, put the alarm for 7:00 A.M, take off my clothes so I'm only in my boxers and go to sleep, praying for no bad dreams.