You're All I Need [Solangelo AU]

VI

CAUTION:
This chapter will contain self harm, and depressing thoughts.

Will's PoV:

I don't get it. It was a joke, and Nico got really mad, and left. Why? It's my fault. I shouldn't have called him Sunshine. What kind of nickname is that?

I sigh to myself, and feel a bit hungry. I go to the kitchen, and start making a sandwich. When I finish making it, I put it on a plate and eat it. I wash the plate and go upstairs to take a shower.

Nico's PoV:

I scold myself as I keep replaying the scene over and over. I should've let it go, but of course I didn't. As I said earlier, I ruin everything. I should just stop talking to Will, he doesn't care for me. I'd be doing him a favor.

We probably have nothing in common. We're so different, too. He's bright, happy. His skin is basically tanned perfectly, as if he purposely stayed at the beach until it was tanned at a color of his liking.

And his hair, curly golden that looks like the sun when it sets. It usually is covering his eye, and it makes me want to get on my tippy toes and move it. Although I know after a few minutes it'd just cover his eye again. His happiness is contagious, you can stay around him for just a few minutes and you'd feel joyful.

How he made me feel just so happy, even when--

No.

This isn't going to happen. Not again.
I'm not going to talk to him. I'll do my best to ignore him, hopefully he'll give up trying to talk to me after a few days.

Even if I chose to keep talking to him, I'd keep getting angry and angry, and then he'd have enough of it, and stop talking to me.

And you know why he'd have enough of it? Because of you, and your anger. You're a pathetic excuse of a human being.

And that's what I am. It was true, everything these voices inside my head said.

Why don't you just kill yourself already?
Yes, this world would be better without you ruining it.
Faggot.
Go get your razors, it's time to cut.
You caused your mother and sisters death, you should be dead with them.

I covered my ears with my hands and closed my eyes, but the voices kept shouting insults.

Aw, Nico doesn't like what we're saying?

They laughed. I knew the only way to shut them up was to. .
I go to the bathroom, the voices still saying insults.

Go on Nico, cut. It's not like anybody will care.

It's true, no one will care.

Just finish it off, kill yourself.

Cut.

I open a drawer and grab a razor.
I start to cut, the voices cheering.

By the time I finish, my arm is covered in blood and the voices have stopped. I walk out of the bathroom, not caring about the blood, and still having the razor in my hand.

Right as I walk out, I lose it and fall to the floor sobbing.

Unexpectedly, I hear the door knocking. I ignore it.

Those voices are right.
I should just kill myself, no one will care.

That makes me sob even more.
I lost mama, and her death was because of me. I lost Bianca, her death was because of me.