The Youngest Of Five (COMPLETED)

seven

The rest of our day was spent watching telly, lounging out on the sofa and not moving from our seats unless we had to

My phone buzzed with a new message, I checked and saw it was from mum. I opened it up and began to read it

To my gorgeous girl Alexa, no matter what happens, just know that I love you with all my heart. Having a daughter made me feel like I had a mini-me, but I've always felt thats not how it's turned out. I'm sorry for all the times I left you with your brothers to go on yet another holiday, or to go and write. Truth is, I hate myself for it. I feel so guilty, I've missed such a big part of your life and growing up. The stress of your father leaving so suddenly impacted me hard, and I struggled to manage. I'm so sorry, if I could turn back the time I would, but things got hard for me, and I used holidays to escape. I am so sorry :(
I love you with all my heart, my gorgeous girl.
All my love, I can't wait to see you xxxxxx

I wiped the tear from my eye, not realising I had began to cry. Mum feels guilty for all the times she's gone away, but why did she continue to do it? Why didn't it stop before they were on another holiday of this year.

I pressed 'reply' and began to type a response

I hope you are okay mum, and are having a safe flight over to Toronto. This is the first I've heard of how you truly feel, and it upsets me. I do wish you didn't go on these holidays all the time, because you come back home and then book another? You always said it was for inspiration for books or for a break away. It hurt me waving goodbye every time you would leave for another holiday. You promised me, when I was 13 that we would go on a family trip abroad, either Australia, America, Austria....you never specified and now I know why, because it never was going to happen. I'm not mad because I am used to it. When you get home things will change I hope.....
Have a safe flight, text me when you've landed!
I love you lots xxxxxxxx

I hit send and then switched off my phone, putting it on the coffee table and focusing my attention on the telly. We were a few episodes into 'Friends' but I couldn't really concentrate, the idea of us doing more as a family was hanging heavy over my thoughts.

"Do you think there's a deeper, more believable idea for why Mum is alway going away?" I mentioned

Corey sighed "No, I don't, just leave it. Mum's stressed, it's hard to manage on your own, bringing up five kids"

I brushed it off, maybe I'm being too harsh? Trying to look after five kids, all close in age, putting food on the table, roof over our heads, clothes on our back...it must be hard. Thinking things through, I pulled my phone out and text mum back

Mum, I'm sorry. I snapped at you and I didnt mean to. I didnt think things through with the events over the last few years. I love you mum and I'm sorry xxxxxxx

"I'm getting a drink - anyone want anything?" I asked, getting up and heading to the kitchen

"I'll have a Fanta Lemon please" Luke replied

Elliott grinned "Ooh well I'll have a beer please"

"Make mine a Pepsi Alexa please" Corey added

Making myself a coffee and my brothers drinks, I waited for the kettle to boil and thought to myself. I realised that, whilst it's upsetting Mum goes away all the time, I'm lucky enough to have my brothers care for me. Sure, we fight and stuff, but I don't think I'd be where I am today without them