Modest Heart

'Ant Haqiqti.

Chapter six: 'Ant Haqiqti.
(You Are My Truth)

Early in the morning after fajar prayers, I went downstairs and I decided to prepare breakfast. "Who is in the kitchen so early in the morning?" Hussein asked loudly. He came into the kitchen and stood at door looking at me, I noticed how surprised he was. "This must be a dream, Halaat in the kitchen cooking and actually doing something helpful. Let me go call Ummi she won't believe me if I tell her," he said sarcastically.

"Hussein it's not the first time I have cooked. Remember that day when Ummi was sick, so I made lasagna for dinner," I told him while frying the eggs.

"Yes Hala I remember, how can one forget the day they were poisoned? Hala if you call burnt lasagna food, I am worried for your husband..." he said jokingly.

"Shut up Hussein. It's not my fault the oven was broken how was I supposed to know," I reasoned out.

"Ya blame the oven for your horrible cooking skills..." he said while laughing.

Hussein sat at the kitchen table and we started talking about his exam and his career plan while I cooked. Believe it or not Hussein is actually considering being a doctor. After a while Ayat came into the kitchen she was awakened by the loud voices from the kitchen she said. Ayat came and sat in the kitchen with us, I was happy all of us together talking and making jokes. Later my mum also came and joined us in the 'kitchen party'. She was happy to see all her kids in one place. I too was happy. Alhamdulilah for my family. I do not know where I would be without them, they are the reason for who I am today.

I noticed it was seven o'clock so rushed to the bathroom for a shower, and wore my everyday outfit, jeans and a t-shirt with a plain closed abya and my black scarf.

Mother, Hussein and Ayat were having breakfast when I went downstairs. My mother told me she got a call from Khalo Fatma my future 'mother in-law'. I could tell she is pleased with Adam's decision, she also told me she is meeting her today to discuss the engagement and the mahr basically about the wedding. I kept my coffee in my plastic mug I bought from starbucks and left for work. I realized that going to work meant seeing Adam. Things were going to be different.

I got to work, parked my car, took my plastic coffee mug and went in the bulding. As I was coming out of the elevator, I bumped into a guy, I wasn't looking where I was going. And the worst thing happened, my coffee spilt on his thobe (muslim attire for men). I looked up to see who the guy was, it was Adam. He looked at me with his eyes narrowed, rigid, cold and hard. I drew in a deep breath, the burning long stare lasted for a while.

I couldn't tell if he was in pain or not, he didn't flinch nor move. I decided to remove a tissue from my bag, I handed him the tissue but he didn't take it. I moved closer to him and I started wiping the hot liquid that spilt on his thobe, it was the right thing to do, I think. He held my wrist and stopped me from wiping the stains. He walked away and left me speechless and anxious.

I went to sit at my desk and my hand started shaking. I couldn't control what had happened, why am I so clumsy? Just as I thought my day couldn't get more awkward. The secretary called me, she told me that the boss wants to see me. I walked through the hallway my hand shaking and my heart throbbing. I knocked on his door and he told me to come in.

"Assalam alaykum," he said casually.

"Walikum salam,' I replied nervously. Adam told me to sit, so I did. I tried my best not to make eye contact. A tear managed to escape from my eye and after that another one. I don't usually cry in front of people. But I couldn't help it, my emotions came into my mind like the waves meeting the land. I couldn't let him see me like this, he would know that I was weak. And I am not, I am collected and stoic. But Adam had a way of making me feel like I am under his 'spell'.