Modest Heart

Forver Isn't For Everyone

Chapter Twenty One: Forever Isn't For Everyone.

*An ambulance arrives ten minutes later at the scene. The paramedics take Halaat and Adam out of the car, and put them in the ambulance. Adam begins to mummer a name. A name that is forever is in his heart and mind. "Halaat ...Halaat."
He stops murmuring and becomes unconscious. Halaat? Oh she's fine. She's just lost in her dreams, she's breathing, she's stable but she's bleeding. Her baby...
They arrive at the hospital, and they are rushed to the operation room.

The doctors try everything to try and save them. Trying to save two souls who love each other. Halaat's stable. Adam is still in a coma. Faintly breathing, barely holding on.

Halaat's POV.

I open my eyes, flickering. Barely able to keep them open. I hear the doctor telling me that she's giving me anaesthetic and that I am going to be okay. I close my eyes, and reality becomes a dream.

A little girl walked towards me, looked up to me and smiled. Could this be my child? I have a daughter. I hear Adam's voice telling me not to let go. The little girl calling me to play with her. I walk on the beach with the little girl. I have a daughter now. A smile spread across my face as she called me Mama. We played on the beach, me and my daughter. As we walked towards the beach, she lets go of my hand.
...
One week later.

"Where am I?" I asked still drowsy. I open my eyes and look around me. I see my mother sitting besides me holding my hand.

"Halaat abnatay (my daughter)," My mother said. Ummi kisses me on my forehead and tells me I am going to be okay. She leaves my side and goes out of the room, she comes back with Doctor Mariam.

"Assalam alaykum Halaat, how are you feeling?" the doctor asked.

"Walikum Salam, alhamdulliah." I reply. The doctor does a check up, I place my hand on my stomach. I look at the doctor and my mother holds my other hand.

"You have been in a coma for a week, I am sorry to say the baby..."

"I know... I know she didn't make it," I cut her of and spoke. Tears started falling and my heart started aching. I close my eyes and tears still fall. I just cried and didn't stop. "Ayn hu adam (where is Adam)?" I asked still sobbing.

"Adam is fine, he's stable. But he is still in a coma," she replied.

"Can I see him?"

"Halaat your condition is not so good, you can see him when you get better. You still need to rest," she said. "How did you know your baby was a girl?"

"She came to me in my dreams," I said tears still falling from my eyes. My mother still besides trying to be strong, but I know she's hurting on the inside. "Do I still have cancer?"

"Yes you do, but chemotherapy is now an option. We can start immediately after two days."

"No I want the surgery," I said.

"Okay, we'll wait for three days to see your progress. If all is good, we'll do the procedure," she explained. "Now please rest." My mother held my hand and didn't let go. My other hand was still on my tummy.

The dream it almost felt like a reality. My daughter's smile and Adam's voice and eyes. I can't stop crying. I don't know anymore. I don't know what to tell my mum. I can't speak but what is their to say. Ummi sat besides me and held my hand. I, speechless. I need to see Adam, I need to see if he is okay.

I fall asleep, I felt weak and tired. It didn't take me long to fall into my fantasy. Where I am with my child and my husband. My family...
I woke up crying, it looks like a beautiful dream but in reality it's just a nightmare. I don't know what to call it. Every time I shut my eyes I see a little girl smiling at me. I don't understand. Alhamdulliah is all I can say.

...
Silence is now my talk. I do not speak unless it is good, if I talk, if my heart talks. I don't think goodness will be uttered. Every time I close my eyes, I dream of a dream that I wish to be my reality. Somedays I don't even sleep. I stay awake listening to my heartbeat rise, whenever I think of Adam.

Each day I ask about Adam, every day. The doctor responses as always "he's fine but he is still in a coma." If he never walks up and I am still breathing. I honestly don't know what I would do.

The doctor told me that I am having the surgery tomorrow. My mum is so worried. My in laws came and they all looked so sad. Especially my mother in law. Jamila didn't say a word, she looked at me. Mina and Hanan also came, they flew over to Kuwait. They are so worried. They always visit Adam first then visit me. I always get to see their teary eyes, and faint smiles.

Ayat is arriving tomorrow. She promised to come as soon as she arrives in Kuwait. Well what can I say, except Alhamdulliah.

Halaat did the surgery. Ayat arrived a bit too late to say I am here for you. Halaat's mum just can't keep it together nor her in laws. As for Hussein he's just trying not to cry in front of everyone.

........