After that kiss (a shoey fan-fiction)

Chapter 56

Sorry i haven't wrote in a while. I've been trying to work on the late Christmas/new years chapter. But it kept making me restart. Im sorry. Ill upload it soon. If not then dont look forward to it. Anyway yes happy new year. Also im sorry the first 2014 chapter is like this. Anyway i promise ill write more in 2014. I know i didnt keep my word last year (month, and sorry) but i will this time. Now read peoples!

Shane's P.O.V

BOOM!!! BOOM!!!! A loud booming sound pulled me from my sleep. I realized it was pouring outside. I got up and walked to the window. The clouds are almost black and theres a little flood outside. Then i realized. Where's Joey? I yelled his name. No reply. I started walking around the house. I yelled his name again, no reply. I walked to the living room and looked out the window. His car is still parked. Oh hell no. I walked into each room. That's when I saw the bathroom door closed. I opened it to see Joey in the tub, in the corner. His back facing the door.

Shane: Joey?

Joey: *sniff*

I walked to him. I turned him around to see him holding a razor. My eyes widened as i stared at what he was grabbing. He was staring in space. I took the razor and searched his body.

Joey: Ssssshhhhaaaannnne

Shane: Joey, why?

Joey: I i i i didnt

Shane: Then why are you holding a-

Joey: BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT!!!

It was quiet. He was staring at me. I realized i was still holding the razor. And that's when everything, every problem fell on my shoulders. Now i didnt know what I was doing. The world got blurry and for that second, i forgot Joey was sitting in front of me. I lost track of the world. So i took the razor that was in my hand and dragged it across my wrist. His screaming was faint. So i dragged it across my wrist a second time. And a third. Losing all track of time. After about the seventh one the razor was smacked out of my hand. It didnt feel like enough. So i looked for the razor, even though all i could see is a blur. When i finally found it, i slid it once more across my wrist before it being smacked out my hand. I went to speak, but everything came out as a slur

Shane: You sheee. I chold you not tttoooo ddo it. How doesh ich feel. I cccanch ddo zish anymmore. Give mme ze raaazor

Joey: No!!!

His voice came out blurry. Like yelling into a tunnel. I felt something being wrapped around it. But I didnt want to stop. I wanted more. He rinsed the razor out and put it in his pocket.

Shane: Puuut ze razor ddown

Joey: No

I dropped on my knees and cried. I cried on the floor. I didnt know what to do with my life

Joey: C'mon Shane. Get up.

NOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shane: I can't feel my legs

Joey picked me up and carried me to the bed. I groaned and rolled over. He wrapped my arm and plopped down next to me. He wrapped his arm around my waist and i flinched. Shit...

Joey: Shane...

Shane: Its nothing...

Joey pulled down my pants to see the side my thigh, the side facing him. Nothing

Joey: Why'd you flinch?

Shane: I got scared

Joey: Of?

There was a long pause.

Shane: *sigh* do you love me? Really, honestly. Do you?

Joey's P.O.V

The problem with his question was... I honestly dont know. I feel bad, really, i do.

Joey: Well you see, the problem is, I feel like I make you feel ba- worst about yourself

Shane: NO BULLSHIT JOEY!

He is crying now.

Shane: DO YOU OR NOT?!

Joey: Obviously I do. But Im not sure about....us

Shane: I knew there was something wrong with me. I knew there was something up with you. I knew there was something up in general. I knew there was someone else. Who is it Joseph? What did i do? Why did you lie to me? You never cared. You never loved me. I knew it. I kne-

Joey: THATS IT!!!!!! IM TIRED OF HEARING ALL THESES FUCKING LIES. I WAS GONNA LET YOU RAMBLE YOUR ASS OFF TO GET YOUR ANGER OUT BUT NOW YOUR MAKING FALSE ASSUMPTIONS. IVE GOT A QUESTION FOR YOU. WHY DO YOU FUCKING THINK I DONT CARE?

Shanes jaw dropped and his face was blank. It might be because i cursed my behind off. But i meant everything i said. I took a deep breath and i continued

Joey: Just let me talk

Shane nodded and stood silent.

Joey: You keep saying that i dont love you when you know i do.

Shane: Im sorry. Im just...just...how do i put this? Im on a lot of meds.

Joey: Your what??

Shane: Its not a big deal. Im on it for dep-dep-dep

Joey: S-say it Sh-Shane

Shane: Dep-res-sion

Joey: Why didnt you tell me before?

Shane: I ddont know. I was sscared

Joey: Wh-When did you start?

Shane: A few years ago

Joey: I I am flawed. I cant be believe it.

Shane hugged me

Shane: Im sorry. I didnt mean it. Itll be ok.

Thats when i finally noticed, i was bawling.

Joey: Im just gonna go to sleep and think about things ok?

Shane: As long as your not gonna think about anything self-harm related

Joey: I wont. I promise.

Shane: Ok, go to sleep babe

Joey: Night

Shane: Even though its not the night, night.

I went to sleep out of anxiety and exaustion.

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I know ive been procatinating but here it finally is. Imma start a new chapter today or maybe tomorrow. I dont know. Theres just too much going on right now. Please dont be mad at me. Anyway i love you guys and ill see you in a few days. I HOPE YOU HAD FUN HANGING WITH ME I HAD FUN HANGING WITH YOU MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR AND I WILL SEE YOU NEXT TIME GOOOOOOOOOOOOODBYE ;)