Story Of My Life{A Youtuber/Preformer's Life}

Ch.10: I'm...Okay.

"Thirteen?" He asked as he looked at my body, looking for something to give away my age.

"I'm twenty, if your wondering, but yeah thirteen." I say as I look away from his eyes, the big brown orbs stared into the back of my head as I wiped away so stray tears and turned back to him. I didn't look directly at him, I just stared in front of me and kept my head low.

"I've always been insecure. Ever since I got into about the fourth grade and the girls started to become meaner and more self centered. I was always bigger than the normal girls, I always was...as they would say 'fat'. And in middle school they just got worse with the name calling so I decided to put an end to it all, so I...I cant believe I'm about to say this....But I stopped eating. And with the nutrition not supporting my body it slowly started to wear me down. One day I even got mad at my own cast... We where doing 'Pride & Prejudice' and I took a joke to seriously and I let my wall down, and I got really mad at a guy I really liked. There was always this one guy too. His name was Luke," I let a smile come to my face at the mention of his name,"He was like a big brother. He was there when I told my theatre family about the Anorexia, and he was there to hug me and support me no matter what I did."

"Your really liked this guy didn't you?" Corey asked, noticing the smile on my face. I nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I always liked him more than I should've. He was sixteen at the time and I was only twelve. He was about to start college that next year, and later that year he got a girlfriend. She was beautiful...Still is. She has red, curly hair and a tall stature with a skinny frame; and her personality is just as beautiful as her features. I could never be like her, and believe me I tried." I stopped before mentioning what happened in the summer.

"One day we where doing workshops, it was summer time, and we where teaching a dance to the kids. I was helping Luke that day, and Hannah had a summer cold so she didn't come in. So it was just Luke and I. As we taught the dance I started feeling light headed, because of the lose of nutrition in my body from only eating one meal a week, but I pushed it aside and put a smile on my face for Luke and the kids. Then the room started spinning and black spots came into view. I barely had time to touch Luke's arm before falling onto my back. Apparently my body was dehydrated and was suffering from nutrition lose, or that's what the medic said to Luke and Abby who had stayed with me while I laid on the dance studio floor." I say as I look anywhere but Corey's eyes. He was wanting explanation, of why I would do that to myself.

"What happened to you?" He asked quietly as he started to notice me with my guard down. I had never done this for anyone except Abby and Luke.

"I woke up in Luke's arms. Well not really his arms, my head was in his lap. He explained to me what had happened and then asked me why I would stop eating. And I told him, that I was jealous of his sisters and Hannah and Lucy and all the other skinny girls at Strauss. He hugged me and told me that I didn't need to look like them, he told me that he would love me no matter what I looked like. But it was a sister kind of love, but that was all I needed....But that didn't stop me from not eating. I just decided to eat maybe twice or three times a week. Or one meal a day. It just depended on how fat or how unworthy I felt." I explained as I thought through every word I said t this man beside me.

"And then one day...Luke went to college, a preforming arts college. And I missed him, deeply. I don't think I ever told anyone I did miss him. I had grown up since the last time I had seen him when he had come back during his fall break, of course to see Hannah, but one day I was doing tech for a show we where doing and he came and talked to everyone. I didn't really feel like talking to him, so i stayed back until he noticed me standing back from the group. He came over and hugged me while saying stuff about not seeing me in forever." I huffed as I got up.

"Nothing really happened after that, I continued not eating and stuff like that...."

"Are you still not eating?" Corey asked as he looked at me closely. I looked away from his eyes and stayed quiet.

"Corbet."

"I'm sorry." I say slowly as I got up from the ground and grabbed my purse and phone. It seems like all I do lately is tell someone that i'm sorry.

"Thanks for the talk, but just forget everything I said." I say as I got up to my feet, I quickly walked back into the theatre but noticed I had no coffee in my hand. I had to make up an excuse...and fast.

"Uh, I came to get Abby."Abby's head popped up from her phone...She wasn't much of a social butterfly but once you get to know her she's an amazing person. We are both religious so we keep each other grounded in our faith and in our normal, everyday lives.

"Where is we going, girlie?" She asked as she grabbed her jacket and purse.

"Coffee!" I say putting on a fake smile that I knew she could see through, she could always tell if I was lying or not.

"Okay." She said smiling but giving me questioning eyes.I just walked with her to the door not saying a peep. We got out into the a lobby and I quickly glanced at the place I had sat minutes prior; Corey had disappeared from the wall and was probably sitting in his dressing room now.

"How do you like the boys?" I say as we walk into the near by Starbucks. She smiled at the ground and a crimson color came to her cheeks.

"Ohhh Abby REALLY likes the boys!" I tease as we step up to the counter.

"What so you want it's on me!" I say as I pull out my wallet.

"Um same thing I got this morning. Please and thank you!" I smiled and ordered for the both of us before paying and walking out the door into the cold New York air.

We walked silently, sipping on our drinks until I saw a familiar head of hair. I passed the face and we locked eyes for about a second before continuing our stroll.

"Oh, Abby. I forgot my wallet at the cash register! You go on, tell Ben and Corey and the boys i'll be back in a minute!" I say before she nods and I start to walk back towards the tall guy. I accidentally walk past him not noticing it with the mass of people, but I felt a hand clasp on my shoulder and turn me around. Those familiar arms in closed my body as I started to panic, who was this guy? I reached into my bag to grab my pepper spray into he chuckled in my ear.

That laugh...I hadn't heard it in ages.

"Luke."

"Corbet."

I smiled as tears filled my eyes and I hugged him tightly, trying to hide them. He laughed and slightly lifted me off the ground while hugging me. I breathed in his smell and silently thanked God, he then slowly let me go staying about arms lengths from each other.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I beamed at him. He laughed at my excitement, like he always did.

"What do you mean, what are YOU doing here?!" He exclaimed.

"I'm doing some stuff with Newsies!" I laughed out as I bobbled on my feet happily.

"Oh, you always wanted to do that didn't you? Just think, us working along side each other again; just like old times." He says happily, my eyes get as big as the light bulbs in the lights on Broadway.

"WHAT?! Luke!" I say happily as I wrap my arms around hi neck and hug him tightly. We would be partners in crime again, even if it was just for a little while!

"Just you and me, like old times!" He says as we start walking towards the theater hand in hand.

"And Abby!" I say as we swing our arms back and fourth. His eyes brightened as we got closer to the theatre that's lights just started to flicker on and people started to line up to get tickets for the night show. I took Luke through the back door, and we entered the theatre and he warmed up my arms for me while we started to unfreeze.

"What do you want to do first?" I ask as I take his hand and run up the stairs.

"I want to meet people!" He says as he laughs at me pulling him. I laugh with him because his laugh is just contagious!

"Well in here is the Corey Cott who plays Jack Kelly and Ben Fankhauser who plays Davey!" I say excitedly before knocking on the door. "Are you guys decent? I have someone I want you to meet!" I call to them after knocking, Ben opened the door and hugged me.

"You scared me." He said quietly before noticing the boy guy behind me.

"Hi." He said with a smile. I smiled at both of the boys and then introduced them.

"Ben, this is Luke; a long time friend of mine and Abby." I say as they shake hands.

"Wait aren't you may new swing? And dancer?" Ben ask. I looked over at Luke and gave him the 'you-really-left-something-out' face. He smiled brightly at Ben and I; which followed with a nod. I looked at Luke's face and remembered how I thought he always looked like a cat. I giggled as he caught my eyes.

"I'm Corey." Corey said after he side hugged me and then shook Luke's hand. I think they all like each other.

"Okay boys! You can talk later, you have a show to get ready for! Break a leg." I kiss both of their foreheads and run the the Les dressing rooms.

"Joshua?" I call out, his head pops out as I call his name. He smiled up at me and I squat down to his height. Which Luke does also.

"Who is this, your boyfriend?" My cheeks blush a crimson color before I shake my was only to be interrupted by a voice.

"No we aren't, she's more like my little sister! I love her though!" He says and I let out a huff. I thought maybe he'd joke around and say we were.

"Yeah my big brother I never had!" I say with a laugh, kissing his cheek. "His name is Luke, and he's also going to be-"

"Oh! Your going to play Ben's swing!" He calls out before shaking Luke's hand.

"Yeah nice to meet you little man!" Luke says shaking it back.

"Okay you have a show to get ready for! Break a leg!"I kiss his forehead, and Luke and I are off again.

"Okay Bronx, Queens, Brooklyn, and Manhattan let me in!" I call to the dressing room door. They open it and at least half of the room is stretching.

"Oh, Corbet I have a question for you!" Adam called from across the room before climbing over the boys.

"Do you think Abby...Ya know...Likes me?" I smirked at him and looked over to Luke real quick, he was already making conversation with a couple of the dancers and other actors.

"Why don't you find out yourself." I say before leaving him and walking over to the group.

"Shoo, shoo! We have seats to get to and you have a show to do, break a leg!" I say waving them off, they chuckle and go to their mirrors.

"Let's go to our seats!" I say but he pulls me before I can go.

"How do you know if we are sitting together?" Luke ask.

"Luke, I'm sure a teenage girl who is in love with Corey would love to sit front row." He smiled at me and we went to his seat. The girl that would have been sitting by him looked up and smiled flirtatiously at Luke. I smirked at looked at her.

"Hey! We accidentally got separate tickets and I happen to had gotten a front row seat, could we swap?" I ask. And at the mention of front row her eyes became as big as saucers. She nodded eagerly at me and I chuckled.

"Yeah sure!" She exclaimed and I smiled at her gratefully. She began to get out but she 'tripped' and fell into look, pressing a hand to his bicep and one to his chest. He caught her and said sorry and she returned it.

We watched her walk away before settling into our seat that where at the balcony area(2 floor). He then felt something in his sleeve and reached in and grabbed a piece of paper.

"Hey..." I looked over at his voice and saw a paper with a scribbled number on it. We looked at it and then burst out laughing, getting a few glares from some people but soon they swiped the look off their face when the lights flickered. I turned off my phone and so did Luke. We decided to make small talk before the announcements.

"How have you been?" He asked.

"I'm...Okay."