Alnihayya

||A l S h a m s||

N i n e t e e n
This one is for habibty11
:)

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Also, Lubbaina suggested we should have cast members. Do you want that?

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When you're going through something hard and wondering where Allah is, remember a teacher is quiet during a test.

-Nouman Ali Khan-

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Mashal

I didn't see Sanan after our small 'talk' in the morning. Not that I wanted to. I kept my mind off him and the story that he told me. It was way too much for my nerves. It was something so private, a hidden aspect of Sanan's life and I couldn't fathom why he would tell me that.

He said that we would be going to Syria today and I thought by 'we' he meant the whole camp but turned out, he only meant me and him.

I didn't know this when I was praying Maghrib alone, while the women were out preparing dinner.
I was praying, completely engulfed in the surah that I was reciting. The door opened and then closed again but I didn't give any thought to it as I was engrossed in my salah.
I was reciting surah Fussilat because it always prevents me from being ungrateful.

"Man does not get tired of asking good (things from Allah), but if an evil touches him, then he gives up all hope and is lost in despair." I recited this verse out loud because this was the one which always saved me.

Then I bowed down and finished my three rakats. As I stood up, folding the blanket I had used to pray on, I heard someone say something from behind me. I turned around in horror, knowing that it was Sanan's voice.

He was standing there with his large arms crossed over his chest, staring at my every move. "Was that Quran you were reciting?" He asked softly.

"Yeah....I mean did you expect me to sing a one direction song in my salah?"

What did I just say? I'm an idiot.

Sanan looked unfazed by my sarcastic reply, still staring at me with his steel like gaze.
That is when I realised, I wasn't wearing my niqab. I panicked, quickly turning my face away to the opposite direction as if I was on fire.

"If that was because of your veil, then let me be honest, I have already seen you last night." He stated as soon as I turned away.

I knew that! He did see me. It was impossible for him not to see me. I felt guilt rise in me. If I hadn't gone out at nigh-

"So that surah...." He began speaking again, interrupting my thoughts. "What were the last verses about?"

So that means he was was watching me praying. This is such a breach of privacy! I need to get out of here as soon as possible.
And even though I had been ignoring this nagging thought for a while, I have to accept it now that the only reason I'm calm here is because I know Zeyara will come to my escape.

Like he always does.
The thing bothering me though is, Why. Is. He. Taking. So. Long?

Oh no! What if he decided to stop caring about me after the way I treated him and called him a liar?

Sanan cleared his throat to get my attention again. I had totally forgotten that he had asked me something.

"It was Surah Fussilat...." I trailed off, recalling the surah in my head. I was still facing away from him so I used my excess headscarf to cover my face and looked at him to have a proper conversation. "Allah is telling us how we always ask Him for good things such as wealth, a long life, love but when we get a single bad thing, we forget all the good things and become depressed as if good will never happen to us again and as if Allah is not watching, as if He doesn't love us and will not take away our grief. Its like seeing a thousand roses and not smiling but only seeing one thorn and crying."