This one is for @MARIAMbahzad
:)The hearts wilt
without the remembrance
of their Lord,
like a rose without water.
-WritingAkh-
(Instagram)Mashal
The sun rays were increasingly dazzling and although I had put up a facade of not being afraid, I couldn't stop reciting the last two surahs of the Quran Al Hakeem.
I could feel Tufan slowing down as the minutes passed by with no sight of water or food. Nothing around us except for sand grains. More sand grains than the number of people in the world. And each sand grain praising its Lord.
Yet we choose to disobey Him.Sanan was right when he told me to follow the circling birds. The birds had indeed turned to a water source. It wasn't much, less than five feet of sandy water with a few cacti and xerophyte plants around it. For us though, who desperately needed water to survive, it was an oasis of life.
I didn't even have to tell myself to say Alhamdulillah, it just escaped from my lips along with a huge smile.Tufan didn't stop when he saw the water, instead he paced up his speed and was ready to throw me into the water to show his love but I stopped him in time.
"You can do that to Sanan, okay?" I patted the horse's neck. "Just replace the water with a rock."By isha time, we had successfully settled beside the water. Sanan had managed to cut open a cactus and present a "nutritious vegan dish that you can't even find in the most expensive restaurant" according to him. I did however appreciate how he started the fire with stones. Zeyara was well hydrated now and survival seemed a lot easier. Alhamdulillah.
The same thing couldn't be said for the people in the cities. The bombs and air strikes came in series and torrents like a hail storm.
To us they seemed like pretty fireworks because of being so far away but in reality they were deadly. Sanan and I knew we would have to stay in the desert until the bombing stopped. Zeyara was no where near fit to travel so far and even if he would have been fit, we couldn't just walk into the middle of a war. That's like suicide.
And exactly like I dreaded, that oasis of life became our home for the next two days. Even though I had began enjoying the "nutritious vegan dish", it was doing little to keep us breathing. Only two days had passed and once again we were on the verge of starvation. Not only starvation but also a strong feeling of helplessness. I could do nothing to help Zeyara other than praying for him. Back in Manchester my college fellows were probably applying to universities and going on vacations. This thought didn't make me feel any better.
However the blessing that Zeyara was with me outweighed all the difficulties. Night had fallen upon us and I sat with his head on my lap as he slept away in his weakness. Sanan sat on the other side of the fire lost in his thoughts while my fingers brushed my husband's hair and continued zikr of Allah. Having Zeyara with me was something that could make me smile even in the darkest of situations and so I was smiling.
Sanan's sudden question caught me off guard and I carefully contemplated whether I should reply or not.
"What do you see in him?" He asked."My whole life." I answered curtly. The question was so ridiculous and what was even more ridiculous was the time the question was being asked at.
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