Take Your Tears, Put 'Em On Ice

~ T-W-E-N-T-Y ~ {II}

~ Sunday; 27th of December 2020 ~

~ P-A-T-R-I-C-K ~

"Why are there bruises on your lower neck, mate?" Aaron's voice caused me to stiffen and my eyes grow wide.

"W-what?" I swiftly pulled my shirt over my head, but I could feel the room heating up. I kept my collar pulled casually high as I stepped past Aaron and quickly snagged Pete's leather jacket from my bed, shrugging it on to keep against the cold wind outside.

"You have..." Aaron began again but stopped himself. "Are those...? Never mind," he backed out of the room and into the hallway, only to follow me to the kitchen.

I put some water in the kettle and flipped on the stove top before leaning back against the counter. "You don't even want this choice up in the air, do you?"

"Patrick, I don't know!" I flinched back at his loud words.  Aaron sighed heavily, his brow in a worried scowl. "I want you to be happy. If that means you go to Chicago, then so be it. I always knew..." He mumbled the rest under his breath.

"Excuse me?" I dipped my head down, trying to meet his eyes and grasp the understanding on his half.

"Nothing," he shook his head and turned to the refrigerator, but didn't open the door.

"No, it was important, other-"

"I said 'I always knew that we were never enough for you'!" He had his fists clenched at his sides, mouth turned into an angry frown.

I was frozen. It felt like he had slammed his first into my chest and ripped out my heart. "Never.... enough..."

"That's exactly what I said!" His face was growing red. "Nick, myself, Melanie, Halsey- we just bloody weren't enough! You were never happy here."

Now he was crushing it between his slender fingers, the blood dripping onto the light wooden flooring.

"We barely got any calls, not one email, not even a letter?!"

I've never ever seen Aaron this upset before. It was making me feel.... empty.

"I've been with you through thick and thin, and what do you give me?! Us?!"

The kettle began to screech, but it was just a white noise.

"It was all a lie, you... you... you manky bastard!"

By now my heart had exploded, covering the white and pastel orange kitchen in scarlet blood. My throat was tight and the edges of my vision were blurry. I could feel the bile in my stomach bubbling as I struggled to keep myself together.

Aaron now had his face in his hands, and I'm pretty sure he was crying. Instead of being the good friend I thought I was, I took a few steps before running out of the flat completely, grabbing my skates on my way out the door. With or without Aaron, I had a group meet up that I was going to attend to.

I'll admit, I was in a lot of pain. He was my other half. Not my lover, oh no, I could never see him in that way. He was my brother, my savior if I may. He had been with me through the thick and thin. But what am I to him? A manky bastard.

I slowed my pace as I hurried down the pavement towards the ice rink. Surely the others didn't think of me like that as well?

I wiped my eyes with the small cloth end of Pete's sleeve and held my head low. He didn't mean it. I know he didn't mean it. I've known Aaron for far too long, and that was nothing like him.