Silent Cries ☾N.H.S

01| he isn't there

❝ i never fully realized
what it meant to hurt
[to truly hurt]
until i wanted you
to such a great extent,
only to have no other choice
but to convince myself
that i didn't. ❞

A/N : don't steal this story, thank you. also go to https://8tracks.com/pretending/silent-cries for the playlist that goes along with this story. also, this story may contain triggering subjects, so read at your own expense!

☾ 01 ☽

The blackness slowly turned into a ocean of red, until it felt as though I was being swallowed by it. I slowly blinked and the red was replaced with sterile white walls. The smell of metal and a ridiculous amount of cleaner infiltrated my nose. Incessant whirring and beeping drummed through my ears, making me want to cover them. Where am I? What happened? I looked around and was instantly filled with shock; the white walls slowly started to fade and my body started to shake.

"She's going into shock, alert the doctor!" I heard a feminine voice yell and rustling as I opened my eyes again to see a large gleaming needle being injected into my arm. The world started to darken as I gave into the ocean of blackness once more.

☾

I groaned coming into consciousness and tried to stretch but my body felt too heavy, my muscles aching like I hadn't moved them in years.

I heard a deep voice. "Halo?" The voice held a nervous tremble.

I turned around and immediately recognized his lilac hair. "Oh my god."

"Niall, I'm so sorry." I felt tears build up in my eyes as his soft blue eyes examined me. He reached out as if to touch me, but shook his head and instead held onto the metal bar that is on the side of my bed. I can tell that his grip was tightening when I see his knuckles becoming white.

"It's okay, I think I'm alright." He looked absolutely fine, his skin appeared a bit pale though, and his hair was mused like he'd been running his fingers through it-a bad habit he always did when he's nervous.

"W-what happened?" I felt scared asking, I couldn't recall much, all I could remember was his scream and the feeling of flying, wind rushing past my face.

"Well babe, you kind of jumped from a bridge into the ocean and I kind of jumped after you." He shrugged and rubs his neck like it was no big deal.

"Oh." I felt overwhelmed and extremely relieved that Niall was alright.

"I can't really remember what happened though, I remember getting sucked into the waves and shit... but the worst was falling-" He stopped when he noticed that I have my head in my hands.

"Sorry, it's just- I don't feel very well and my whole body hurts." I coughed. My throat stung and the taste of salt was stuck to the roof of my mouth, I felt like gagging.

"I can go get a doctor, those fucking jerks. Every time I tried to ask what room you were in they just ignored me. They talk to Carter and Nathan, but not me?" His face contorted angrily as he mentions my boyfriend Carter, and his friend Nathan. He turned around, walking toward the only window in my room; angrily grasping the window sill.

I stare at the back of Niall-he was nothing like Carter. Sure they were both grunge looking and both had tattoos at the age of eighteen, but there was just something different between them. Other than the fact that Niall had lilac hair while Carter has pitch black hair.

"Niall I have something I wan-" My words were cut off as I saw my mother storm into the room. She dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief, her eyes were red and puffy.

"Oh, sweetie!" She rushed over to me and wrapped her arms around me tightly. I groaned in pain, and she quickly sprung upward. She made sure that she hadn't pulled any of the IV needles that are sticking in my arm, out. She smoothed the white sheets out before she gave my leg a quick pat. She hadn't done that in years.

"Oops, I forgot about your- uh, condition!" She suddenly started to cry- I couldn't help but feel awkward, and like I didn't know what to do. I was not good in these type of situations.

"You're only seventeen." She sobbed, and clutched the handkerchief. I patted her shoulder as comfortingly as I could, my eyes starting to feel a bit damp.

I turned to look at Niall, but he wasn't there. He must have slipped out.

She calmed down and sat on the chair next to my bed. "Who were y-you talking to anyway?" She hiccuped. She was trying to look strong in front of me, but I could tell she was breaking.

"Niall, I'm glad he's okay." I smiled weakly, and her face turned ashen. She dropped her handkerchief.

"Halo, that's impossible-" She stopped, and now she's crying again, more hysterically then before.

"-they never found his body."