Birthday

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(A/N: LOOOONG chapter, hope you enjoy it!!)

After those weeks of infiltration in the Imperial academy, I'm falling more and more in love with Ezra. I just don't want to tell him that, or let him know. It's just never a good time.

Although, we did come close to kissing...

Still, Kanan's been focusing on training us lately, and I really wouldn't like to interrupt that. Today we're out of the capital in Lothal, outside a small town. Kanan's training me and Ezra with a new type of lesson: making a connection.

But I've noticed Ezra is not happy today. I can almost feel his sadness, but I don't know why all of a sudden...

"Can we do this another day?" Ezra says.

"We can do this today," Kanan replies.

"Just throw the rock already..."

Kanan throws a small rock at the grassfield, and the rock hits a poor little Loth cat in the head. Now, the Loth cat's angry, so he jumps out of the grass growling at Ezra.

"Make the connection, Ezra," Kanan instructs.

Ezra tries, but he's not focusing easily. He's too troubled to do so, and in no time the Loth cat leaps at him nearly biting his face. Ezra falls backwards to the ground keeping the Loth cat barely inches from his face.

"You're not getting it, Ezra!"

"The only thing I get is that this furball's trying to kill me!" Ezra grabs the Loth cat and throws him a few meters away from him, leaving the Loth cat growling at him.

"Hand me your lightsaber and I'll make the connection!" Ezra yells.

Kanan and I exchange surprised looks.

"Excuse me?" Kanan asks him.

Ezra sighs. "I'm sorry, I... I just don't see the point in this."

"The point," Kanan says, "is that you're connected to every being through the Force. But the only way you'll know that is if you let your guard down."

Kanan closes his eyes and holds out his hand, and immediately, the Loth cat's demeanor changes from grumpy to plain adorable.

Kanan closes his eyes and holds out his hand, and immediately, the Loth cat's demeanor changes from grumpy to plain adorable

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"And what if I can't?" Ezra protests.

"If you hang on to your past," Kanan replies, "if you are only willing to protect yourself, you'll never be a Jedi."

"Well then maybe I'll never be a Jedi."

"Blueberry, what is with you?" I come out and ask him. 

"Today's not a good day," he replies. "It never is."

"Today?"

"Empire day?" He says.

Oh, yeah. Empire day. No self-respecting Jedi would celebrate it. Me, I have my mother to worry about. I don't know where she is, and that's the Empire's responsibility. And Ezra is... 

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