Dare to Fly (Haikyuu x Reader Oneshot)

Kageyama Tobio x Sick! Reader (Forgive Me?)

[A/N] *Whistle* Whew, exams are finally over. This girl, right here, is living the lonely life. Who the hell returns with angst???? Anyways, *sigh* this is in Kageayama's POV and when he is reminiscing his past.

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Kageyama's POV

They say you won't realize what great things you had until you lost them. I knew it from the start. It was what I was raised to believe in. But, sometimes, you needed to fully experience it to understand. By words alone wasn't enough.

I made a terrible mistake. Well, two actually. There was nothing I regretted more than these. But then, one could probably be fixed but the other... There's no hope to it anymore. It's gone forever. How can I get back something that is unattainable??

First mistake: My arrogance pushed my from my position in the heavens above to the ground below. The faces of my teammates, soaring with the clouds in the sky, looked down on me in pure disgust. I was like a fallen angel.

I wished to be put back on the court again. My sky, my domain. It was where I was the most comfortable in. My throne, my kingdom. I shouldn't have been a tyrant. The sense of horror and terror when there was no one there to take my tosses, the shake of the coach's head as he told me to take a seat and her...

Her...

My second mistake.

She was bubbly and happy. Always saying happy things and cheerful encouragements. We all loved her. In Kitagawa Daiichi, there was a mutual fondness between the team and her. But I was the one she chose. The partner I could never replace. 

She was hot-headed and reckless, but she was there to play with me. She willingly spiked all my toss even if it was too quick or too dictatorial for her. She played with a smile and an enthusiastic attitude. Until that day...

It was too much of me. I broke her to tiny pieces but it was already too late. I didn't know. I really didn't. If I had, I would have treated her differently. She was special. My (F/n) was special. She kept the smile on her face, bright and hopeful. But, behind that mask, was a girl whose life was short. Counting her days till she didn't exist any longer.

I broke her. She sped up the process. I shouldn't have screamed at her and pushed her away. She didn't want to see me sad. She was already sad herself and she didn't want me to be in her same position. She tried so hard.

This mistake was unable to be fixed. She didn't come to school for days after I broke her heart. I was left alone, my world dark and gloomy. She was my ray of sunshine. I was left wondering where she was, if she would forgive me.

I sit back. It hurts to remember this. (F/n)... she wanted the best for me. I never loved anyone else as much as her. But my world shattered when I heard she... left this world. My angel... My heart hurt so much. More than when I was put on the bench.

I never got to say sorry.

I never got to hug her again.

I never got to see her beautiful smile.

Because I made stupid mistakes. I lost the one thing that was so important to me. I never realized how much of my happy times were with her and volleyball. Volleyball... I could still play. It was my passion. I've learnt my mistakes. Like she said, it was time to let go of my overbearing pride.

It's funny how that comment started everything. Pride... how dangerous...

Maybe, it was my pride for not being able to apologize. It was my pride to not accept her advice. I blamed my pride. I was such a dumbass.

"Oi, Kageyama!" a voice called out to me. How cheerful and bright. A boy appeared in front of me, a smile gleamed on his face.

"(F/-) Hinata, dumbass!!" I roared, nearly saying her name. They were so alike. It wasn't the first time I mistook him for her. I missed her.

I wanted to apologize to her. Tell her I was sorry. I never knew if she forgave me.

(F/n)... Can you forgive me?

I've changed. I got a better team that supported me through and through. I stopped being so dictatorial. I accepted the fact that I wasn't alone anymore. Not just on the court but in life as well. I can depend on them like how I could depend on you.

I hope you forgive me, (F/n). I miss you. You cannot be replaced. But I hope that one day, the empty feeling be gone. Forgive me?

I... I never got to say this to you...

I love you.