3am thoughts// olive5soselsd

parents

right now I feel like a can of coke, with a load of bottled up emotions inside me which have been shaken and I feel like im going to explode. so, me, a human with no irl friends that would want to hear me rant, is going to type her emotions into this little book. here we go:

right now, I feel like my parents hate me.

I know, I know, I have an extremely lucky life, with friends, a school, a house, clothes, food and plenty of unnecessary items. this may sound stupid to alot of you, but; 2 of my all-time heroes are Dan Howell and Phil Lester. yes, they have (ironically) ruined my life, but they have also made me so happy, made me friends, made me feel better about myself, and most of all, they saved my life.

today, the annual video, Phil Is Not On Fire was uploaded, and the day before, I had asked my parents if I could stay up a little later so I could skype my friends about it. they said yes. so, when the day comes, I feel super happy and excited. then, they ruined my mood. I came downstairs with cat whiskers drawn on my face.

" You look stupid, stop being so childish. "

Wow, thanks mum.

I also came down with my copy of TABINOF, and I was on the phone to my best friend. my mum told me to ' put your fucking phone down for once ' , even though I spent the whole weekend without my phone- WHICH WAS MY CHOICE. (I like taking breaks from my phone btw, thats why)

I ate at the table, and told my mum what happened at school. was she listening? no.

Then my dad came home, I said hi, did he reply? of course not. said bye to my mum because she was going to work. did she give me a hug or a kiss? no.

I gave my dad his coffee, and he did thank me, but he didnt ask about my day, like usual. I let it slide. he didnt talk to me AT ALL, apart from when I asked to skype my friends and HE SAID NO. I had asked yesterday, and he had said yes. BUT APPARENTLY I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING?! I was so close to crying, so I ran upstairs. he came up to ' apologize ' , and I think all parents say the same- " yes, I know we get annoyed but we still love you. we dont ask you to do much, do we? im sorry, I love you. " ITS THE SAME DAMN THING EVERY TIME. he said goodnight, and as usual, he says the same thing EVERY NIGHT. I also felt like I broke my knee today (I googled it, its just a contusion, im okay) and I could hardly walk, but not my mum or my dad wanted to help. I give up.

this probably doesnt make any sense at all but oh well it helped me rant. theres another one coming in about 10mins x