I'll Always Remember You

Fear

Rocky's POV

I woke up screaming. Sweat drenching me in fear.

Nicki was crying and shaking me.

"ROCKY! ROCKY TALK TO ME!"

I turned to her and took her face into my hands.

"Nicki. Nicki." I breathed.

"Baby what is wrong?"

"Don't leave me like that. Don't. Please."

"What are you talking about?"

"Just a bad dream. I'm sorry."

I kissed her softly.

"Nicki, if it's not too much to ask, can we just stay up?"

"Sure!"

"I want to have as many moments as I can get. I want to have memories. Good and strong memories."

"I love you. It's okay Rocky. I'll always be here. Always."

I kissed her again, but this time I didn't let her pull away. One day I was not going to be lucky enough to do this anymore, so I might as well get as much as I can.

It was 5:00 in the morning so we weren't doing too bad, but I realized then how hugely pregnant my wife was. This meant less time with her. Fear clenched in my stomach and I had to kiss her several more times so that I would be able to melt the pain away.

"Hey. Our baby is almost here." She smiled.

"But you're almost gone."

"I have a feeling that Riley will be a lot like me. Don't worry I'll still be here, just through her."

"NICKI STOP. IM SICK OF THIS."

"W-what?" She asked.

I sighed and took her hands.

"I'm sorry that I yelled. I'm just so scared of loosing you, and you seem okay with it. Like you're okay with dying."

"I am." She whispered.

"Why?"

"Because there is nothing I can do about it but accept it. I know that you'll be fine here. I know that Riley will be fine. You don't need me."

"But I do." I replied through chocked tears.

I had never broken down this hard in my life before, but I screamed, I cried, I punched a hole into the bedroom wall, I broke the plates in the kitchen, I pretty much destroyed the house. Nicki just sat there, crying. She kept saying "I'm so sorry, Rocky. I wish that I could stay." Finally she just left and went into the office.

Why am I loosing the reason that I live?

Nicki's POV

I sat in the office with letter paper in my lap. I wrote to everyone. Riker, Rocky, Ross, Rydel, Stormie, Maddie, Amanda, Ellington, and even my dearest Riley. I wrote her a letter for the day she started kindergarten, the day she turned 13, the day she started high school, the day she turned 18, the day she got married, and a few others. Tears covered the letter for the day that she got married. I knew that I wouldn't be able to fix her hair and adjust her dress. Someone else would do that. Preferably Maddie and Amanda, but how was I supposed to know.

I put down my pen and hid all the letters in a feminine product box under my bed. Rocky couldn't see these. It would hurt him worse.

Why do I have to hurt him?